Sunday, December 19, 2010

A centuries-old argument


There have been squabbles in Catholic-Jewish relations for centuries.  And as recently as two years ago disappointments arose again, this time from text in the Vatican’s Good Friday prayer.  One can research this, but the holiday season of good cheer and all that has inspired me to write of the wonderful story that happened about 400 years ago.

Back then the Jewish folks had a modest residency at the Vatican.  This had been on and off again over the centuries.  One day the Pope had words with the Jewish delegation and decided to once and for all evict them from the Vatican.  This caused uproar with the Jewish Community such that the Pope agreed to a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish Community; if the Jew won, the Jews could stay; if the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no choice.  Attempting to catch the Pope off guard they picked a commoner among them named Moishe to be their representative.  Moishe asked for one additional rule for the debate.  To make it more interesting, neither party would be allowed to speak during the debate.  The Pope was skeptical but willing to go along and he agreed.

The day of the great debate came.  Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other.  For a full minute they were motionless; then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.  The pope then waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Moishe then pointed to the ground where he sat.  The Pope looked at him and quickly pulled a wafer and a glass of wine from his ornate satchel.  Moishe pulled out an apple from his paper sack.

The Pope was dumbfounded and stood up, raising his hands saying, “This man is too good.  The Jews can stay.”

An hour later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.  The Pope said; “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.  He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.  Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.  He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was right here with us.  I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show him that God absolves us from our sins through His Son.  He pulled an apple from his sack to remind me of Original Sin.  He had an answer for everything!”

Meanwhile, the Jewish Community had crowded around Moishe.  “What happened?”  They asked.  “Well,” Said Moishe, first he indicated to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here.  I indicated back to him that not ONE of us was leaving.  Then he indicated that the whole Vatican as well as the city would be cleared of the Jews.  I let HIM know that WE were staying right here.”

“And then….?”  Asked a woman. 

“I don’t know,” Moishe said.  “He took out his lunch and I took out mine….”

Friday, December 10, 2010

Inner Peace Discovered



I saw this awhile back on Dr. Phil.  I don’t usually watch him but I had just thrown a paperweight across the room in a fit of uncontrolled rage watching a brief segment of Hannity on Fox News (which I had stopped on while surfing the cable).  It shattered an expensive vase and damaged a lamp.  I was about to throw the remote through the TV itself.  Picking it up, my thumb hit the buttons and Dr. Phil popped up.  I saw this as a divine intervention.

I feel compelled to pass this along via my blog because I found it to be the best advice I’ve had in some time. 

Dr. Phil proclaimed “…the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started – but have never finished…”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished.  I made a resolution right then and there.

Before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Valium prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Pat-down alternative


You’ve probably heard of this, so go on to the next blog if you have.  I just thought it was so ingenious that it needed to be passed along.

Airport screening.  E-gad what a mess it is now.  Full body scans or, your choice, a nice touchy-feely pat down.  Everyone is up in arms.  Well, not really everyone as the press loves to intimate, but certainly another step in the invasion of privacy in the quest of safety.  And, just recently, some poor guy with a Foley Urinary Catheter bag full of urine had it ruptured by an aggressive TSA employee such that he had to endure a trip home smelling like he just came off a New York subway.  Now THAT would piss you off.

Not to worry, citizens.  Not to worry.  Someone has come up with a solution.  Everyone would still need to be screened, but this steps back from a feeling of invasion towards a more high-tech, sterile approach. 

Yes, it’s still impersonal.  The solution is to provide a walk-through container operated by airport security.  Your luggage would accompany you in the chamber.  Once the traveler securely inside, the agent would flip a switch which seeks out and detonates any explosive device in a bag or on the person of said traveler.  The explosion chamber resonates with a muffled “whump”, security staff goes in, flushes out the debris, and the process continues.  The threat is compromised and the 77 virgins of Islam welcome yet another suitor for all eternity.

A bit harsh?  Possibly.  Taking the worry out of the friendly skies?  Priceless

It’s always something

Saturday, November 20, 2010


While recently in New York City we saw this play, and I have so say is the best one I’ve seen in a great while…..

     … I’ll not bother here with detail of plot, what it is - what it is not, though I’m sure it will be some time before I see another play so well written in rhyme.

  The following I took from the web site and have paraphrased it since it didn’t sound right.  American playwright David Hirson's rollicking 1991 play, La Bete, is a comic tour de force about Elomire (David Hyde Pierce), a high-minded classical dramatist, quite the pessimist, who loves only the theater, and Valere (Mark Rylance), a low-brow street clown who loves only himself, on which he will incessantly expound.

  When the fickle princess (Joanna Lumley) decides she's grown weary of Elomire's royal theatre troupe and its theory, he and Valere are left fighting for survival in her court as art squares off with ego in a literary showdown of retort.

  At first one wonders just what is it about the clown who blunders his way through the first 30 minutes of the play.  But the script so eloquent mesmerizes the listener to such extent that one cannot help but be swept in.  Mr. Rylance has a cadence so rhythmic and seemingly unending that it builds the humor - sending the audience into a trance.

  How fun it must be to write completely in rhyme that I myself might try it sometime.  One who has knowledge of couplet and verse may think this play possibly worse but as for me it was delightful to see it.

  It was something

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Jesus at the Metropolitan Market

I'm always grumpy in the morning.  The other morning I was heading to the office, hungry, pissed that I was both hungry AND out of bed.  I decided to stop by the Metropolitan Market for some yogurt, pissed that I was hungry, out of bed and had to eat something I really didn't want because eating a donut makes me fatter.  I pull up, get out of the car and hear a woman's voice crying "Oh, no...OH NOOOOO!".  Good Lord, what?  A robbery at 7:30 AM?  
No.  Apparently a stylishly dressed woman was tendering to her stylishly dressed kid and had spilled a $7.50  grande, decaf, double shot, no-whip, mocha-yoka coffee drink inside what appeared to be brand new champagne colored Cadillac SUV mega land-yacht.  I surveyed the scene, chuckled to myself and walked into the store, happy that something bad had happened to some hoity-toity rich person.


Then I remembered reading recently again about someone commenting on those W.W.J.D bracelets.  What Would Jesus Do?  Shit, c'mon, God, don't lay this junk on me right now, I'm sleepy and hungry and in nooo mood.
I started singing this little jingle..."what would Jesus do? what would jeeezus doo, do, do..." and I thought, "well, I suppose He wouldn't have had pleasure from someone's misfortune, now would He?"  No, I suppose not.


Then an apple rolled across my path.  I picked it up and took it over to the guy stacking them unsuccessfully at the fruit counter.  His face lit up as he thanked me.  He put it back in the stack.  Note to self - this is why we wash apples before eating them.  Anyway, it sorta picked me up and gave me a bit of a Jesus is walkin' here strut.  


I walked past a depleted bread shelf and, feeling like Jesus, waved my hand over it to see if I could make more bread appear like in that Cecil B. DeMille event 'feeding the 5,000'.  Didn't work.  The bread was as sad and empty as before.  Ahh, WTF I thought.  It was fun while it lasted.


I back track to get something and pass back by the bread shelf, now resplendent with fresh new bread, packed to the brim.  I have to saay I did a double take and looked at my hands.  I went back outside to get in my car and noticed that the SUV had departed with only a small puddle remaining.  Then I saw a bread truck leaving the parking lot.  Uh huh.  I think i might get one of those bracelets anyway.  It's entertaining.


It's always something

Friday, October 29, 2010

Catch the last train home - Got to get on it

This describes what I am feeling this morning as I come to the office on a Friday.  We're out of work, or nearly so.  The train has left the station.  Whatever it was that I had planned to do has passed on.  I've been a traveler on this life's journey as an architect, running to catch the next train - sometimes not the train I wanted, but a train that took me to the next town, the next pay station and the map that shows "you are here" on a map in the lobby.  

The lobby is empty.  Everyone made the train but me this time.  There is a cold damp wind out here on the platform as I peer down the track and study it as it disappears into a point.  This is one-point perspective you see, and I understand that and know how to draw it and even teach it. It's what I've done for 30 years.  But this morning it only reveals a distance into which I won't go today.  I've missed the train.

I sit inside the station where it's warm.  Even the ticket windows are closed.  I look at the light reflected in the windows.  It's dark outside and the play of light inside and out, the distorted and reflected colors and shapes are intriguing.  The floor is at least 100 years old and has a marvelous patina to it.  The shadows play in and out on the stacked equipment in the corner.  I think about my work, all the buildings completed - some not so great, some quite satisfying.  I take out my sketch pad and pencil and start drawing, thinking about a composition of shapes I see in charcoal or maybe oil.  Maybe both.  

I look down the track again but this time it's not with a lament of things missed.  It's looking for a train to come my way, one on which I will ride to a new destination of adventure, art and expression of who I really am.

   

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A weekend in Westport, Wa

I first saw Westport when I was about 5.  It was all black and white back then.  I don't remember much about it but it was really strange and quite frightening riding there in the back seat with my mom and grandparents and seeing the world change to black and white as we went through Aberdeen. My grandpa scared me a little when he got out a bottle of whiskey as we drove into town, took a big swig and chortled in a pirate's voice "...arrgh, we're in Westport, matey...".  This had set the tone for that day back then.

My friends and I visited Westport last weekend.  Coming back after 50 some-odd years we found that it not only flickered into black and white now and then, drinking seemed to be still quite the pastime.  We were pretty hammered that first afternoon when we went out to see the sights.  Nothing was in focus, no matter how I tried to take photographs.  This....THIS, by the way, is THE TALLEST light house in the State of Washington just so you know.  We went up to it and by God, it is.


We found our way back to the car and went over to Ted's IGA to get some supper fixin's.  The parking lot was pretty vacant, however, there was a plethora of various dilapidated bicycles parked all around.  Walt explained that most everyone in Westport has lost their driver's license due to a DUI so they ride bicycles.  I didn't get a good photo of one (mainly because these scruffy folk seemed to take their rides seriously and being new in town I didn't want to wear out my welcome.)  I managed to come up with a facsimile here in what may just be a Westporter's dream ride. 



Riding a bicycle isn't without risk, however.  This me-lee occurred last summer on the main drag when a newcomer to the town who had not yet had a DUI plowed into a group headed down to Ted's to take advantage of a two-for-the-price-of-one sale on Mike's hard lemonade, as long as supplies lasted.
"Geezus H. Christ,"  One witness said, "It was something like I've never seed.  They was bodies lyin' all over."    Miraculously no one was hurt.  Doc Adams said later he thought that the .34 alcohol levels of most of the riders contributed to this.


Every weekend during most summers a tour boat heads out to spot the drunk floaters that wash up on Saturday and Sunday mornings on the jetty just out from the tide flats.  They get their photos and then fish them out, back slapping high five-ing.  Then its a memorable boat ride back in as the tourists get treated to the tallest tales ever imagined (or hallucinated).  Progressive town that it is, Westport has a "hike 'n bike" program where folks like the floaters and others can borrow a bike and return it to another station around town.  Eventually they come across where they left their own bikes.

I'm looking to another trip to Westport next year for sure.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Fine Print digressions

I don't have a tevo and don't have time to plan out what i want to watch on cable on the remote thing, which means I usually end up watching TV in real time.  I don't like most programming on TV.  I do watch 'Modern Family', as described earlier in this inane blog.  Watch the news.  Watch some PBS.  This 'n that.  C'mon, we ALL watch goddamn TV, even the channel 9 snobs.  Admit it, you righteous gluten-free, wheat grass-eating sons a bitches....you like Judge Judy.  And you eat cheetos when you watch it.
However, I cannot tell you how much I loathe commercials.  Honest-to-God, given the choice of PAYING for watching TV without commercials I would do so.  Yeah, I contribute to PBS.  PBS doesn't have the really shitty stuff I like to waste my time on though.  You know, those times when you just want to sit down and watch some worthless shit on the networks.
The price you pay to watch this worthless network shit is having to watch commercials.  20 minutes of this flotsam for every 40 minutes of programming.  AND, I don't know how they do it, but the networks have gotten together and TIMED this barrage of flotsam so that you can't switch from one shitty program to another shitty program without watching a commercial.  So you are completely immersed in shit.
Now that they have you where they want you, these hawking bozos insult you further by telling you one thing and completely denying every word they have promised by putting it in the SMALL PRINT.  I recorded some of these and went back to read this.  It takes quite an effort to see it, even on pause.  NONE of what is said in the ad is actually true.  It's like watching political ads all year long.  (don't get me started).
I went on Google to research some of this and it IS true.  fine print disclaims most of what is said.  And nothing can be done about it.  It's all legal.
Politicians, advertisers, they ALL take us for idiots with I.Q.'s of under 40.  Every one of us Amerikens.  Damn, maybe it's true.....

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Sacrifice for a cause

The windows are almost all in and the siding is going on, starting in the back.  I chose to do mitered siding for the corners of the house.  It will cost extra.  That being so, it is nonetheless priceless.  It requires cedar planks without big knots.  It's the way houses used to be built.  It was the way the original house was built.  I am staying true to that spirit.  Yep, I probably caused the death of at least one big cedar tree somewhere.
Wait 'till you see the corners.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

'Kitch' wins out in Salina, Kansas

I'm back from the Midwest.  And I think it's only fair that I share some of the awesome feats of design that I found returning to my home town of Salina, Kansas.  Take this house for instance.  I drove around the block, parked, dodged the traffic on Crawford Street to take this photo.  I've tried to analyze and understand this and it is still baffling to me.
This...this is something that perhaps would win an AIA award in a town like, say Seattle, where avant-garde stuff done by 'playful' and 'kitchy' architecture firms get the nod of approval from their narcissistic friends in high places.
So - Miller Hull...Mithun...you oh so very cool designers, eat your hearts out.  And start copying your next design award material.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day 8 in the Heartland

One more day and a wake up. Tomorrow I wake up, put my sandles and shorts in my bag, get out my coat and sweater and head back to Seattle. I have many stories to tell - many photos.
Tonight we had my big send off at my brother's house with take-out BBQ and some white reisling wine. White wine goes ok with BBQ in that it serves to provide much needed alcohol to the system.
We spent some time at dinner discussing "Modern Family". My sister-in-law's son is best friends with Eric Stonestreet, actor who won an Emmy for supporting actors on the show recently. Mom had never seen it. Well, she had seen it, but at my brother's house. She hadn't actually watched it as a matter of choice at her house. Her TV is hard-wired to FOX.
I went home with mom to spend my last night there and we were going to watch "Modern Family" on our own.

"What channel is Modern People on?"
"ABC mom what."
"What?"
"ABC what."
"What?"
"ABC."
We get to the show and turn the volume to 29.
"Well, I just am not getting this."
"Stay with it awhile and watch what."
"What?"
"STAY WITH THE PROGRAM AWHILE AND WATCH."
"Ok. The people are talking too fast."
So, I explain who is related to who, and which one is Eric. And we watch for awhile. The windows are open in the house and driver's by outside on the street look for the drive-in theatre which they can hear through their closed car windows but can't see.
The show concludes.
"Well, I just didn't get any of that."
"You might have to watch it more to get into it, mom what."
"What?"
"YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WATCH MORE OF IT TO UNDERSTAND."
"Well, I just don't get any of that."
We see "Cougar Town" start and I tell mom that it's a lame show and I don't like it and she says 'Oh," and continues to watch it. I didn't say anything and endured the first 10 minutes of it.
"Well, I'm still just not getting this. Now they've changed some of the people, it's just confusing."
"Mom, we've been watching 'Cougar Town' what."
"What?"
"WE'RE WATCHING ANOTHER SHOW NOW."
"This isn't Modern People?"
"No, it's 'Cougar Town' what"
"What?"
"IT'S COUGAR TOWN."
"Oh. Well, do you like it?"
"I thnk it's lame what."
"What?"
"I THINK IT'S LAME."
"Well why didn't you say you wanted to watch the game?"
We watched a few innings of the KC Royals game and called it a night.
I leave in 10 hours.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

It's what we did




This place used to be a beehive of activity back when I was a kid. Dad would drive us north of town to watch the "wheat dump" in late June early July. Acres and acres of wheat harvested, put into trucks, put into boxcars and transported in great steel wheeled trains to the town's grain elevators. Late into the night it went on, screeching, groaning metal bin doors vomiting out tons of grain down through grates to be conveyored up into the cylindrical cathedrals.
It was cool. Cool to see, but also to be out at 11PM at night in the summer of 1957 when you were 10 years old.
None of this is used anymore.
About a quarter mile down the tracks stands what's left of the Salina train depot, a red and white brick building sporting knee braces and wide eaves that said goodbye to my dad and uncles boarding the train for WWII years ago.
I sat on a large stack of creosote railroad ties and pondered the weight of time slowly lumbering through this place much like the ponderous boxcars that once moved through as well.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Just a thought

They painted this 100 year-old building recently in Salina. They said the building now only looks about 25 years old.
If I painted myself would I look 15?

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Politics in the Heartland

I have learned a great deal about How our country is in the fix it's in, and where it should be going during my short visit here. I hope to learn more.
First of all, I didn't know that all, not most, but all of our problems we have in this country today are the cause of liberals. I don't have room here to list all the facts, but I'm told it's true.
And - the reason the GOP, when elected back into power has such a hard time correcting the course of the nation is because the liberals always leave it in such disarray. In fact, the country is STILL reeling from the FDR administration! Holy cow. I had no idea.
It takes more than two successive GOP administrations, (8 years of power) to right the wrongs of a liberal administration. How many terms...we don't know.
It was suggested to me that, this being the case, the two party system should be done away with and candidates for office be elected out of the one true party, the GOP. Leadership would be strong and consistant and we all would come to know what is expected of us to exist as a nation.
Government would be limited to a body that offered the capitalist regime not laws, but only a suggested guide on how to operate. Government would not interfere. Goodness and right would emerge and all citizens would be expected to pull their load - do their share. The lazy and indigent would be left to the fruits of their own ineptness and would perish on their own accord, not on the State's. Those not willing to go along with the rest would be forced into labor camps and eliminate the need for illegal immigrant workers who presently plague our great nation.
No more lazy people, no more folks who choose not to make it on their own.

This is what I have learned so far. I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and if you're not white...you're fucked
Zieg heil, mein kampf!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Sarge's Apartments


Drove out to the former Strategic Air Command Air Base in Salina today after lunch with my old friend Bert. Salina used to have a SAC air base back in the Truman/Eisenhower days - the cold war days. You wanna talk about fear. This terrorist shit is lame compared to instant thermal Nuclear annhilation at 5,000 deg.F. Salina was home to several B-52's with nuculear bomb storage bays spread over acres of old farm land converted to government property. Yeah, we had a special spot on the Ruskie's missle target charts.
I used to have nightmares as a boy walking through the Kansas Van Gogh-yellow sunflower fields with periwinkle blue skies - and all these magnificent white plumes, lines of missle vapor trails, converging on our town hoping to get us before we got them. Time for one more breath. Maybe two. Yellow flash. Then white. Then heat. Then - silence after my body goes microscopic, atomic.
Our teachers taught us to get under our desks if there wasn't enough time to go to the bomb shelter. WTF? It would have been better just to all go outside and PROUDLY give the decending white plumes the one-finger salute...a last futile act of defiance.
But I digress.
Sarge's apartments. My very first job as a licensed architect. They're still standing, those magnificent converted SAC barracks I so lovingly turned into sad boxes of cheese for sad cheesy people to live in. They still do. And, Sadly, they were better off in 1975 than they are today.

It's never too soon to panic.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Haaaaaaannity in the Heartland

Geezus H. Christ, who the hell thought it was a good idea to give this cretin a microphone and airtime? This guy has everyone in Salina on the edge of their seats, clamoring for more vitreolic diatribe so they can go back to their closets, get out their voodoo dolls of Obama (well, any black faced person will do), and them gay-o-phile people.
"there, you damn n*****, take THAT!"
I have a week to go. Oh, they're nice enough back here. And I'm a home-town boy and all that. But baby - watch your back. Especially true of the jayhawk ilk.

It's never too late to panic!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In the heartland

yes, indeedy internets, i am back in the heartlands the next two weeks or so. Spent some time pondering this on the plane today. Much to write. so little time. I'm stuck in limbo without my crappy, crash-test dummy computer with all my programs on it so I can't work on the house.
I can only visit with my mom and my brother, watch Fox news, listen to the hatred of Obama and the sainted virtues of Glen Beck (geezus I can't believe I actually typed those letters that spelled the name) and newt gingrich.
a good friend of mine recently compared her family to a circus act and her fiance's family to a funeral reception. My family was in-between. Well maybe is.

I am a twisted individual. Ok, i'll share the thought i had today waiting for my flight.
I watched this poor old bent-over guy walking, no - lurching, with assistance down the airport corridor. So, when they eventually bury him, do they have to make a kind of 'bent' coffin, or maybe one with a raised section like a camper? Do they just flatten him out with some weights? He wouldn't feel it I suppose.
No, I sat there and thought about this for some time.
I dunno, maybe it was the coffee or maybe it was my cell phone rattling down in the urinal while I tried to answer it earlier that morning. (what is it about urinals that stimulate cell phones to ring?)
I answered it since it wasn't that pissy. It was Dino Rossi asking me to vote for him. Now THAT was pissy.
and remember -
It's never too soon to panic..........

Sunday, September 19, 2010

no building code in 1906


Our remodel is basically a rebuild. We've filled all the concrete blocks in the foundation with concrete, we've added about 12 new columns and beams in the crawl space and added these huge goddam metal brackets that are designed to hold the house down in case of an earthquake.
What baffles me is just how did this house survive 104 years on this earth without these code upgrades?
The project moves on. More progress photos to come.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one, and they all stink

I'm by myself often. It probably explains why I think too much about stuff. I like to write and would like to become better. I've had 'writer's block'. I don't know what that is but if it means you just don't give a fuck about writing sometimes that's what I have. I'm sorry about using expletives here, but at my age using them in a sentence is the closest I will come to ever having the actual experience again. (Being fucked as a tax payer doesn't count.)
I'm sitting here tonight watching Glen Beck. Just finished The O'Reilly Factor. I discovered that it is better to watch these programs with the sound on mute. Why, you say - why on earth are you watching these programs? Well, I'll tell you. I'm going to Kansas next week for my 45th high school reunion. I feel I must prepare myself for the immersion back into Fox Network Land. I grew up with these values, but they have worn thin out here on the left coast (that's the oh, so clever way the west is described by those in the heartland). My old values drilled into my psyche throughout childhood have eroded out here. I still harbor virulent hate for those who are not exactly like me, but it has receded pretty far back after 30+ years.
So I am preparing myself for a two week stint in the heartland and an existence with family gathered around the sacred Fox Box every night after dinner where we will engage in lively facist conversation and what to do with the liberals, blacks, gays, chinks and kykes fouling the system. Grab your coat, get your hat - leave your worries on the doorstep....life can be complete, on the far right side of the street.....
Good night and good luck

Friday, August 20, 2010

new roof sort of



There isn't much left of the original house. We left the front roof because a portion of it is in the front setback. The house was built before the set back became part of the building code. I'm just glad they didn't make us tear down the "illegal" part.

Went out to buy our appliances last weekend. Went by to check on a detail before we actually purchased them and found the store had gone out of business. Just like that. There was a woman standing at the door reading the notice when we came up. She had purchased appliances last week. She's out of luck. Everyone says what a great time to build if you can afford it. Actually, no one has anything in stock anymore. And it's hard to find the simplest things.

My parents grew up in the Great Depression. I missed all that. All those 'good ol' days'. But we have some of our own now. Yeah, we've got our own. Back then I heard much about people helping their neighbors, helping each other. This Great New Depression, however, has a streak of meanness running through it. A great river of hate flowing through the nation. Who the hell am I, to be building this house, when so many have so little?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sifting through the potsherds

It is somewhat cleansing going through the process of throwing away your files. Our attorney suggests saving any files within 10 years. So, we have been fastidious about that. But I'm thinking, what is the point, really? The whole reason that drives a lawsuit is to win it, NOT to determine the truth. there is no room for truth in our justice system. In fact, it really isn't a 'justice' system, but a 'legal' system. Truth is the LAST thing you want if you're trying to win a lawsuit.
So I'm thinking, why not just throw everything out? I probably will.
I've run across several projects that for some reason all the design sketches were kept. I go through them like an old man looks at early photos of his now grown or deceased children. Why am I so emotionally attached to this shit? I guess that's why I never was a good businessman. I had a heart. Business requires lack thereof. It's why I failed. I tried to help others rather than help myself. And to think I started life as a conservative from the Midwest. Bloodless heartlessness wins every time - Oh, the shame.
Goodnight Pen.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Watching your friend die

I decided to lighten things up from the foibles of house demolition and remodel. My friend is almost dead. Her name is "my career". She has been a friend for all these years, troubled at times, unfaithful at times but an old friend nonetheless. I hooked up with her in Junior high school. She wanted me to come with her on a journey. A quest of trying to find something within myself that remains elusive. Architecture is a cruel maiden. She will not be tamed or held as yours for long. She is fickle and will betray you while yet savoring a kiss. But she is finally leaving me. And I am sad. I was not a worthy suitor and so she goes on. I search to find another love. Goodnight, Pen.

Monday, July 12, 2010

What will go wrong next?



I haven't been keeping this up. I care about this house. I care about it a lot. But it has beat me to shit. The building department has beat me to shit. I suppose there will be some fun in this sometime but right now i just can't see it. I remain manic depressive. I remain unemployed. I spend my days trying to find something for employees to do, figuring out how and when we will finally close the doors, and working on the house. I have never ever felt so low and without hope.
Good night

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

no Photo

You can't take a photo to replicate my state of mind tonight. I've become more manic-depressive lately. Listening to Imogen Heap tonight has helped. Egad, what an artist.

This will not make any sense. I am lost. I am found, and lost again. It is elusive. Shit. I have to go to bed soon - to waste 6 hours in a process of dying yet regenerating for another day. How perverse it is. And, my God, the waste of 6 hours saddens me so.

I have not been drawing. I so need to. I've mostly just sat in a stupor, joining my fellow americans who do the same each and every night. Watching their hate-of-choice. Watching their heroes of caustic retoric. the politics. the waste. The venom filled place this country has become....the enormous hypocracy and despair.

fuck it. good night.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


Those of you who have been in our house may recognize the stained glass sailboat window. it used to be over the bath tub in the downstairs bathroom.

We discussed doing things differently than we had originally planned this weekend, now that the space is opened up. But the planning is sound and we keep coming full circle to the design we have chosen. We've been planning this for about 4 years now.

I am considering entering this remodel in a local Seattle competition. more on that. I want to share and show that the world doesn't need big, new houses - that small can work, and better yet, small saved and reused. It's folly to think one cannot leave a carbon footprint but wise to walk softly on the earth.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

More demolition




Having your house demolished, or at least the insides and the adjacent buildings, fence, etc, is a clensing experience. The house really doesn't look the same on the inside today. Lots of lath and plaster. Lots of 1 inch by 6 inch wood sheathing slats on the sides of the house. They didn't have plywood in 1906. In fact, I would guess most of the original lumber and materials used to build our house in 1906 were brought to the site by horse drawn cart.

Carpenters made about $2.00 per day in 1906. That was in New York. Who knows what they made in Kirkland, Wasington? Power tools? I don't think so. Fork lifts and Genie loaders/haulers? I don't think so. No, the guys (and it WAS only guys) showed up around sun-up with their wooden tool boxes, hand saws, planes, etc. They sawed the planks, planed the edges, nailed them in by hand. They even were able to build from drawings done by hand as well, AND without computer generated dimensions down to 15/16ths of an inch. These men were true builders. Of course, I say that and am yet reminded every time i walk by the 1888 brick house down the street with the crooked brick window header that "oh, well, got 'er good 'nuf" said at day's end echos to this very day.

Things have changed. For the better? Perhaps. Perhaps.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

our house is a very very very fine house....



Well, here we go. Week no. 1 of 52 weeks until completion. the house was built in 1906 and we have chosen to refurbish and restore it rather than to tear it down. I'm an architect. The house belongs to my wife and me, although it is her money which will restore it. I basically am unemployed and have absolutely nothing to my name. I chose that I suppose, choosing architecture as a profession. I've been kicked in the teeth and had my guts ripped out on a daily basis for 30 some odd years. Thank god for my wife who loves me in spite of all that i am and am not.

Most folks don't understand what architects do. the other folks just don't care what they do and developers, well they despise what they do. You see, you need to have an architect "stamp' drawings for permits. developers hate that. what a waste of profit!

Anyway, we have decded to restore this house rather than tear it down and build a large, over designed stucco behemoth with windows and crenilations of monstrous propostion that currently grace Kirklands's architectural landscape.

But I digress. And, since no one is ever going to read this it really doesn't matter. someday someone will find this log of the construction of our house and say, 'WTF was THAT all about?'

Monday, April 19, 2010

My cousin died of 3,000 poison dart stings

Have you ever just couldn't wait to tell someone about something that happened to you? something really quite remarkable, or bad, or well, just about anything you think is worthy of comment?
I sat this morning, patiently wading through the morning's conversations at the office. Last night some one broke into my car and stole my GPS device. I wanted to tell. I waited. Then a pause, and my chance. You tell your story. there. Ahh, completion, satisfaction, wait for the response. the anticipated response. and.
And you hear about all the times stuff was stolen from someone else and all the horrible things and this and that and my uncle one time had his whole fucking spleen, heart and lungs stolen - right OUT OF HIS BODY. And my friend like, had their house stolen while they slept and the thieves moved it to like, Pennsylvania of all places overnight and then they, and then they.... yada, yada.
Geezus H. fucking Christ. Ok, yeah, boy THAT sure was worse than what happened to me. For sure. Really? Boy, what tough luck.
What the fuck is up with the fact that every time EVERY TIME you tell someone something that caused you grief, well like your brother died of cancer, and the person says something like "gosh that's awful. My sister died of 3,000 poison dart stings while walking through the amazon on a guided tour for 'saving the forests of earth' project last year.
Give me a break. Ok. I get it. i am supposed to just listen.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Paradise Lost....an interview

Nancy and I go to plays. We've been doing this over 30 years. It has been one of the adhesives in our relationship.

We recently saw "Paradise Lost" at the Intiman. This is an interview with Lori Larsen, actor in the play, by Stephanie Coen of the Intiman Theatre. I am reprinting it here to share with you all.
________________________


In “Paradise Lost,” playwright Clifford Odets dramatized life in the 1930s. In her performance, actor Lori Larsen makes those long-gone woes feel part of the present

Apr 14, 2010, Vol: 17, No: 16



These days, it’s hard not to compare our current economic state with an earlier one that befell the world 80 years before. Many draw parallels between the Great Depression – with unemployment hovering above 20 percent, with personal income plummeting 33 percent or more – and today, when reports that banks only repossessed 79,000 homes in a month amounts to good news. Comparisons between then and now only gain strength when some in the media refer to our current era as the “Great Recession.” But how did people in the 1930s view their situation? And what can we, in the present, learn from the stories of the past?

Several days a week, since March 26, Lori Larsen has been trying to figure that out while others watch. That’s the night Larsen, and a cast of 14 others, opened in Intiman Theatre’s production of “Paradise Lost,” by the playwright Clifford Odets (1906 – 1963). Set in the early ’30s, Odets’ Depression-era rendering imagines what life might have been like for working people, in that period that’s known to most of us from history books or iconic photographs. In the play Larsen plays Clara Gordon, the matriarch of a family that, over the course of three acts, has the screws put to it: bad business deals, foreclosure, homelessness, chronic illness, death, mob dealings. You know: drama, of the type that graces the stage. And as the screws tighten, Clara tries her best not to flinch, to remain present and address each problem as it arises. Sitting in the audience watching Larsen’s performance, it’s hard not to be drawn in, to want to sit down at her kitchen table and admire – and sometimes fault – the ways she tries to get out of every bad situation that seems intent on pinning her down. She’s got the practical “I’ll-take-care-of-it” mother thing down.

But since waltzing onto stage and sitting down with the actor is usually frowned upon, sometimes you have to settle for another option. In this case, sitting down to lunch with Larsen, to talk of the play and economic hard times. It might feel incongruous, then, to have this conversation at the Grill, Nordstrom’s basement restaurant. Larsen herself admits she only knows it because a friend played piano there. But what better place to chat about depressions and recessions, homes owned and lost, money gained and squandered than in a store where, 10 yards away, a basic t-shirt can be had for $55 or a pair of sunglasses can set you back $450? There, Larsen described what it means to be a poor, yet happy, actor in a little-known play.

You grew up here.

Yeah. I was born on 71st and Greenwood, in my grandmother’s house. John Bastyr delivered me. [Laughs.] I grew up on 17th Street, in the University District. You know that chestnut-lined street? I grew up on that street. It was a very normal middle-class upbringing. I decided, when I was 17, to become an actor and I’ve been an actor ever since.

But I’ve never made much money. I’m in your lowest poverty level group [she laughs], which is fine. I had the good fortune, in 1976, of buying a house for a very small amount of money. A very miniscule amount of money. In those days, nobody wanted to live in Seattle. It was $2,000 down and $150 a month, for 30 years. You know, I paid it off. I still live there, in the C.D. I’ve had some, you know, tough times: There was the crack epidemic in the neighborhood. It’s changed a lot.

I’m so fortunate: I make between $18,000 [and] $22,000 a year every year, and that usually includes about five grand of unemployment. I mean, I just live really low-key. And I watched the real estate go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up, and the real root of our economic crisis [is] housing is unaffordable. There’s no working class anymore. You’re either [at] Real Change or you’re a yuppie. What’s in between? My [property] taxes are $5,000 a year. I can’t wait to be 62 when I get a break, for being poor, on my taxes, because they’re killing me.

How would you describe “Paradise Lost?”

There’s been a lot of emphasis on the recession and Depression, but I think of it as a family story, a story about a family and family dynamics.

One of the things I was so struck by was [the cast] read some Studs Terkel–

Yeeess.

—his Depression-era writings. I read a lot of the interviews he did. And these people were talking about all the hardships they experienced during the Depression. But every single one of them, to a person almost, had nostalgia for the sense of community that existed during the ’30s, that got lost in the war era, when the men all left, and then in the ’50s, when everyone flew to the suburbs. As affluence grew, existential reality grew. And the sense of being there for others, the interdependence of people, was something that almost everyone was nostalgic for. You know: Some guy doesn’t have anywhere to stay, the furnace man, you put him in the basement. You’ve got a neighbor, you used to have a pretty close friend, he comes over all the time, you feed him. His daughter marries your son and then he moves in with you. And yeah, you’re exasperated at the time, but then [you’re] looking back on that time with incredible nostalgia for all the ways that human beings helped each other.

There are a lot of economic stresses on those people. And they have no safety net in those days: There’s no Social Security, there’s no old age pension. There’s nothing. If you lose, you gotta start over. There’s no unemployment. The safety net was created out of the suffering of those people.

There was this one guy who came and moved all the furniture out of people’s houses, in the Studs Terkel [interviews], and they would go back to the people who had hired them and say, “Well, the mattress was filled with bedbugs, we couldn’t take it.” And the mattress was fine, but they just wanted to leave it there for the people, so they would have something to sleep on. And people were always finding creative ways of helping each other out: While the system was trying to pull people apart, people were stepping up. So I was really struck by that.

One of the things that happened to me while I was doing this play was my wallet was stolen. I was in a restaurant, my purse was open likes this [she unzips it]. There wasn’t anyone around. And I went over [she stands up and pretends saying to wait staff, ‘Hey, you forgot to bring me my soup,’ then sits back in chair] and when I came back, it was gone. Stolen. And it was right during tech week [the week before opening night]. I had to get new credit cards, the whole [shebang]. But I noticed that when my wallet was stolen, I felt lighter. Of course, it was sad and all that, but there was also this sense of lightness for a whole day, two days: I didn’t have any money, I didn’t have any credit cards, I didn’t have any I.D. I just had me. I felt this weird sense of lightness and [Buddhist nun and author] Pema Chödrön says, “The closest you get to enlightenment is when you’re feeling completely groundless.” It helped me understand that there’s a light side to losing everything. It’s not to discount the suffering involved, but there’s also another side to the coin, which I’ve been exploring in my performance and it’s much more accurate to the truth, than always being so unhappy. I don’t know if you run across that in the homeless people you know, this kind of lightness.

It varies: I think for some people, it’s very heavy. But for other people, they feel they don’t need it: Why do I have to have all this stuff weighing me down? I can just do what I want, and go where I want and be who I want, and I don’t have these tethers.

I think the value of this play is that you look at this one moment, when they lose everything, and then you can reflect: What would I do? How would it come down for me, if I had no place to go, with nothing left? How would I respond?

You mentioned the Great Depression and right now, we’re in the so-called Great Recession. And there are all kinds of news reports about what’s going on: people losing their homes, becoming homeless, health care. How do you think drama allows us to investigate something like economic reality that may not come across in journalism or news reports?

Well, Obama sort of got over the last health care hurdle when he took that little boy and told his story, remember? [Marcelas Owens, 11, from Seattle, stood next to Obama when the President signed health care legislation on March 23. Marcelas’ mother died of complications from pulmonary hypertension when Marcelas was 8. His mother had been denied health care coverage.] A story, which has emotional content about real people and what they actually experience, is the only way we are capable of experiencing empathy. We need a story. That’s why we tell each other stories: to shore up our compassion, shore up our empathy. When you tell a story, you’re absorbed by the drama of it and that drama enables people to feel empathy, which is the key to being human. It’s really the key. A dry story in a newspaper, with statistics: It’s hard to put a human face on that. You could extrapolate “Paradise Lost” for anybody who’s facing foreclosure.

Compassion and empathy are quite sophisticated contemporary notions. It’s been a long evolutionary path for us to get to the point where the Dalai Lama is the big celebrity that he is. It’s been a huge evolutionary path because compassion requires the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. And drama has that capacity. It’s the miracle of movies. And the theater is even more immediate because it’s right there.

So you’ve got this great scene –

Where I lose my moral compass.

Could you set it up, what you go through?

Well, [my character and her husband, Leo, have] lost everything and the business partner proposes that we burn down our business to get the insurance to save our skins, and my husband says, “No,” because he’s got a strong sense of integrity and morality. We’ve lost everything due to criminality of the business partner and when I find out that’s what went down, at first I’m appalled. And then I’m reflecting on it for a moment: “Well, since there’s no other way out, maybe we should go for that.” And I have a moment of moral turpitude, a lapse, where I ask him to think about the idea of maybe [burning down the business] and he gets mad at me. I realize I’ve stepped over the line and that’s what makes our relationship so strong: that he’s a moral compass for his wife.

So she has a moment where she goes over to the dark side, just out of desperation, and he reins her back in right away. They’re saved from doing anything stupid like that. But as a result of that moment, the spiral down to having absolutely nothing begins. She can see the writing on the wall. But their relationship is such that he’s foolish and he doesn’t act when he should, and as a result of his inability to act, things fall away from them in ways that could have been prevented. Women in those days couldn’t really step up and run things, husbands were in charge. She says, “I wanted to go for [a] loan myself, but Leo says it’s a man’s job.” And by the time he goes, there’s 48,000 [people] in line ahead of him.

There’s also a parallel with health care.

We’ve got this son who needs health care. And with no money, no business, we can’t provide for our son. So that’s part of where her desperation comes from: It’s not just losing her house, but they’ve got this child, their last surviving son, who’s dying, who needs help, who needs care. Imagine changing his soiled pants, trying to feed him – Did you see the movie “Awakenings?” Same disease [encephalitis lethargica, which can debilitate someone until he can’t speak or move] that Robert DeNiro had, that’s what [the son] has. There was an epidemic in the late teens, early ‘20s that sort of swept through the United States. He’s one of the vestiges of that epidemic and it’s a horrible, horrible thing.

So yeah, they’ve got a lot of difficulties and to behave heroically in the face of all those difficulties is not something that most human beings can do. It brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the worst in Clara.

Are you familiar with many playwrights of that era?

You know, I’m not. I mean, the patois: the rat-tat-tat-tat of that. The faster the better. Clifford Odets is a true genius in terms of making it easy for the actors to flow with the lines. I’ve been really, really impressed, having done a lot of plays, of what a great wordsmith he was in making dramatic situations. He was a master. He was only 28 when he wrote this.

And when does it close?

April 25.

And when is your [60th] birthday?

April 23. I’m playing that night. I’m pretty happy about it. It’s a perfect thing to be doing. I love working. It really makes me happy. You know, I don’t work that much. I don’t work as much as I’d like. It’s just hard to get a job. It’s really hard.




Stephanie Coen

Director of Communications I Intiman Theatre

206.204.3320 I stephanie@intiman.org


www.intiman.org





2010 SEASON
Paradise Lost I The Thin Place I Ruined
A Doctor In Spite Of Himself I The Scarlet Letter

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Table in partial light


I am just fascinated with light and how it makes an otherwise uninteresting subject come into its own life

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Stuff to do when I'm Dead



Being an unemployed architect and all, I've had some time to think of the future. And what would a future be without being dead? A bit macabre I know, but it has an element of truth to it. I would want to be eco-dead, of course, and would not want to take up too much space. Cremation is the eco-ticket. But before my dust particles settle into wherever those who knew me think I would like to be scattered - I'd like to finish a few things I started here on earth.
What to do when you're dead? One thing I thought of was to go wait for a building permit. Doesn't matter what town.

Then I think I'd wait for an elevator for awhile. But one would come and the fun would be over. Better chance for an eternal wait to go out to the street here in Seattle and wait for some nice weather.

Then I think I'd go to our old office in Bellevue and wait for something good to happen. Now THAT would be some serious eternal waiting. Not one fucking good thing ever happened in the 30 years or so I worked as an architect.

Eternal waiting gets boring I suppose, even for an urn full of cremated dust, so off i might go to a local airport, get myself transferred to some Tupperware or something and jump out of an airplane without a parachute. That might be kind of cool.

I might go over to Seattle and go to an AIA meeting. Or better yet - go to one of those fucking self-appreciation, mutual admiration AIA awards dinners. Jesus, I don't think I could stand that though, even being dead. What a bunch of insufferable pricks!

Oh hell, after the AIA one would have to have a gigantic dose of civic awareness, so I might go over and wait for the new tunnel to be built along the Seattle waterfront. This of course will never happen in ALL of eternity and I'll need to find something else to watch.

On to Washington D.C. Well, sonofabitch! I've been elected a senator! NOW I'll get some stuff done!






Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Filling out the Census

“Hey Angelo, how many people we got in dis house?”

“What?”

“How-many-fuckin’-people-we-got-in-dis-house?”

“Who wants to know, Man?”

“Dis fuckin’ thing we got in de mail wants to know.”

“Who sent it?”

“I dunno, some government ting or something.”

“We goin’ get arrested, man?”

“No, man, we ain’t getting arrested. We gotta fill dis out is all.”

Shit, man I dunno. Like when?”

“NOW, man.”

“No, I mean like, when do dey wanna know when the people are living in here?”

“I guess like sleepin’ and stuff like that.”

“Well shit, man, count ‘em up.”

“Ok, but is your ol’ lady livin’ here now?”

“Fuck, man, who knows? It’s up to her like we talked about the other day. Count her like half time I guess.”

“Ok, what about Grampa?”

“Ain’t seen him for awhile, man.”

“Well, is he like, living here?”

“Shit, I dunno. Is he like living at all?”

“Well his shit’s here.”

“I know, but his shit is everywhere. Sometimes he sleeps down under the freeway.”

“I know. So you ain’t seen him?”

“Not for a couple a weeks.”

“Ok, I count him as here, but in another place too. Dey got a box for dat. What about your kids?”

“What about ‘em?”

“Well, they here or not?”

Tony is living with his girlfriend Angelina upstairs and Miguel, shit who knows where the fuck dat punk sleeps?”

“Ok so two then, counting Angelina but not Miguel.”

“He might come home.”

“Too fukin’ late, man I wrote 3.”

“We count the baby?”

“What fukin’ baby?”

“Dat baby your sister got now.”

“Oh, shit I guess. They here now?”

“Seen ‘em this morning, man.”

“Tell her I want to talk to her.”

“Ok. We count the baby?”

“Shit I dunno. Maybe like a tiny person or something.”

“Naw,man dat’s likle a midget. I’ll count it as ½.”

“How many we got?”

“About 7 ½. or so”

“Shit,man, that’s a lot.”

“Hey, dis ain’t MY idea.”

“Yeah, maybe we’ll get more food stamps.”

“Yeah. I’m makin’ it an even 9.”