Jesus at the Metropolitan Market

I'm always grumpy in the morning.  The other morning I was heading to the office, hungry, pissed that I was both hungry AND out of bed.  I decided to stop by the Metropolitan Market for some yogurt, pissed that I was hungry, out of bed and had to eat something I really didn't want because eating a donut makes me fatter.  I pull up, get out of the car and hear a woman's voice crying "Oh, no...OH NOOOOO!".  Good Lord, what?  A robbery at 7:30 AM?  
No.  Apparently a stylishly dressed woman was tendering to her stylishly dressed kid and had spilled a $7.50  grande, decaf, double shot, no-whip, mocha-yoka coffee drink inside what appeared to be brand new champagne colored Cadillac SUV mega land-yacht.  I surveyed the scene, chuckled to myself and walked into the store, happy that something bad had happened to some hoity-toity rich person.


Then I remembered reading recently again about someone commenting on those W.W.J.D bracelets.  What Would Jesus Do?  Shit, c'mon, God, don't lay this junk on me right now, I'm sleepy and hungry and in nooo mood.
I started singing this little jingle..."what would Jesus do? what would jeeezus doo, do, do..." and I thought, "well, I suppose He wouldn't have had pleasure from someone's misfortune, now would He?"  No, I suppose not.


Then an apple rolled across my path.  I picked it up and took it over to the guy stacking them unsuccessfully at the fruit counter.  His face lit up as he thanked me.  He put it back in the stack.  Note to self - this is why we wash apples before eating them.  Anyway, it sorta picked me up and gave me a bit of a Jesus is walkin' here strut.  


I walked past a depleted bread shelf and, feeling like Jesus, waved my hand over it to see if I could make more bread appear like in that Cecil B. DeMille event 'feeding the 5,000'.  Didn't work.  The bread was as sad and empty as before.  Ahh, WTF I thought.  It was fun while it lasted.


I back track to get something and pass back by the bread shelf, now resplendent with fresh new bread, packed to the brim.  I have to saay I did a double take and looked at my hands.  I went back outside to get in my car and noticed that the SUV had departed with only a small puddle remaining.  Then I saw a bread truck leaving the parking lot.  Uh huh.  I think i might get one of those bracelets anyway.  It's entertaining.


It's always something