I Gave My Life for You

I gave my life for you, Continental Army so you could defeat the tyranny of the British monarchy.

I gave my life for you, Marine Corps so you could take the island and step closer to winning the war to keep our freedom…

I gave my life for you, U.S. Army 4^th Infantry, so you could take the beach at Normandy…

I gave my life for you, Caen Canal Bridge so our troops could use it in the quest to defeat the Nazis who threatened our freedom…….

I gave my life for you, guy at the LA airport, so you could have the freedom to spit and call me ‘baby killer’ when I got home on leave from Viet Nam…..

I gave my life for you, media, so some of you could keep the right to berate our presidents…..

I gave my life for you all, so you could choose to hate or love and be free to express yourselves…..

I’m still on the battle fields where they could not find me to bring me home, at the bottom of the sea, in the dust in the air and, here, in Normandy where I lie in pristine rows at peace with my brothers and sisters,  that eternal peace which passes all understanding……

Remember me.

A centuries-old argument

There have been squabbles in Catholic-Jewish relations for centuries.  And as recently as two years ago disappointments arose again, this time from text in the Vatican’s Good Friday prayer.  One can research this, but the holiday season of good cheer and all that has inspired me to write of the wonderful story that happened about 400 years ago.

Back then the Jewish folks had a modest residency at the Vatican.  This had been on and off again over the centuries.  One day the Pope had words with the Jewish delegation and decided to once and for all evict them from the Vatican.  This caused uproar with the Jewish Community such that the Pope agreed to a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish Community; if the Jew won, the Jews could stay; if the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no choice.  Attempting to catch the Pope off guard they picked a commoner among them named Moishe to be their representative.  Moishe asked for one additional rule for the debate.  To make it more interesting, neither party would be allowed to speak during the debate.  The Pope was skeptical but willing to go along and he agreed.

The day of the great debate came.  Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other.  For a full minute they were motionless; then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.  The pope then waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Moishe then pointed to the ground where he sat.  The Pope looked at him and quickly pulled a wafer and a glass of wine from his ornate satchel.  Moishe pulled out an apple from his paper sack.

The Pope was dumbfounded and stood up, raising his hands saying, “This man is too good.  The Jews can stay.”

An hour later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.  The Pope said; “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.  He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.  Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.  He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was right here with us.  I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show him that God absolves us from our sins through His Son.  He pulled an apple from his sack to remind me of Original Sin.  He had an answer for everything!”

Meanwhile, the Jewish Community had crowded around Moishe.  “What happened?”  They asked.  “Well,” Said Moishe, first he indicated to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here.  I indicated back to him that not ONE of us was leaving.  Then he indicated that the whole Vatican as well as the city would be cleared of the Jews.  I let HIM know that WE were staying right here.”

“And then….?”  Asked a woman. 

“I don’t know,” Moishe said.  “He took out his lunch and I took out mine….”

Finally a person pulls-off the Ultimate I.D. Theft

SEATTLE – A twist of fate brought an identity theft victim face-to-face with the woman who stole her whole I.D. Then, after getting her face back, the victim got the chance to put the woman behind bars.

"I was standing right here at the counter when she walked in," says Misty Mann.

The 23-year-old Jacque Pennei employee recognized the woman who approached her counter last January. It was 29-year-old Mandy Mist – the woman who Mann says stole her identity.

"(I'm) thinking, 'Is this really her? I can't believe she's standing right in front of me," said Mann.

How did she know?

Misty’s I.D. had been stolen sometime last winter. Someone opened several department store credit cards in her name and rang up some big bills. She also noticed numbness in her face for about a week after a hard night of drinking out with friends.

"I received a bill from Rabies 'R' Us for $2,100," said Mann. And I don’t even own a dog!”

Assistant U.S. Attorney Alvin Swindleman says what Mann did next was a crucial part in making this case.

Mann, left, was working at Jacques Pennei’s when she recognized the woman who came to her counter as the one who stole her identity.

"Mann contacted all these retail companies or retail stores, asked them to preserve the videotape asked them to preserve whatever evidence they had of the crimes that were committed to her and set that aside so she could report it to the police," said Swindleman.

So, even though Mann didn't know Mandy Mist’s real name at the time, she knew what Mist looked like. (duhhh!)

When Mist walked into Pennei’s last January, Mann contacted security.

"Out of all the gin joints in the world, all the registers she could have gone to and all the associates who could have rung her up at our store, and she came to me," said Mann.

Mann calls it fate, but her actions helped federal agents bust an identity theft ring, putting five people and two skullduggerous plastic surgeons behind bars.

"If you ask my coworkers, it was one heck of a day," said Mann. “Just don’’t play ‘Misty’ for me.”

Time w a r p

I’ve been experiencing these phenomena for a few years now. I’m not a scientist or a physicist or any kind of a cist, so not having such a brain makes it difficult to postulate and hypothesize and the like.

It’s the occasional slowing of time. It seems to be activated by pushing one of those buttons next to an elevator. It doesn’t seem to matter which one you push. They both set it off. I’m having a busy day, a lot to do, gotta get somewhere and suddenly find myself in front of an elevator facing these buttons. As I push it I think, “uh oh. Dammit, here comes that time warp.” Sure enough, it warps. Wow. I look at my watch and the second hand has slowed to a n o t h e r d i m e n s i o n. The elevator door slowly opens after the car goes through its arrival paces, ka-rumph, tssh, silence, then the merry little ding or tone. People are rushing out in another world I’m sure, but here they have Twilight Zone warped faces and voices, s c u s m e u u u h …

And what are people thinking when they are waiting for the ding in this time warp zone when they stand right at the crack in the door like they are going to just step right in because no one of course will be coming out?

So I get in with this person and join the merry party madly underway IN the cab. A group of people thrown together, who all have a single goal which is to get the hell out and away from the other people. But they caaan’t. they can’t. They are in “the dastardly time warp” and they are trapped. Not only that, but some warped, evil bastard has piped in the world’s shittiest music. This only adds to the time warp. Somehow this music plays at normal speed, when the time has s l o w e d d o w n.

So the car stops, one of the button lights go out, ka-rump, tssh, silence, ding, and the guy way in the back of the cab with the enormous box is the one who summoned this particular floor. He struggles to the front, pushing my uncomfortably into a woman with an ass as big as this guy’s package. Of course, he has to push the guy out of the way who was standing at the crack in the door, waiting on this level.

Another guy gets in and all eyes watch as his finger hovers ever s o s l o w l y towards his floor of choice. Will it be….D’OH! The sonofabitch hits one of the floors below mine. Now I gotta wait for this yahoo to have his entire, complete ride while I’m still on my journey.

By this time I am sure it is sometime next Tuesday. Funny, I’ve missed three nights sleep but don’t feel tired. Finally, ka-rump, tssh, silence, ding, and it’s MY TURN by God! I work my way to the front of the elevator (I’m now the guy furthest in back) and exit, bumping into the guy who was waiting standing at the crack in the door on my level.

And time returns to normal.