Thing is - bet some folks buy this.
It's always something...
Of Fires and Feelings
10 months ago
Monday, December 8, 2014
If you can't trust Abe....
Thing is - bet some folks buy this.
It's always something...
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Friday, September 26, 2014
Business is picking up...
It didn't say 'business license' on my dog's collar, but a license is a license. Our dogs spotted several sites for business just this morning....
This fellow is perhaps a beagle assistant
It's always something...
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Mariners upgrade safety revisions to diamond.....
In a press release this morning, Seattle Mariners announced they are adding a new safety feature to the diamond starting next week (or whenever Ramirez will be pitching next).
After the shelling yesterday by the Texas Rangers, 12 to 3, Coach Mclendon said that Erasmo Ramirez probably needed something more than the best defense in the American League behind him. "...Erasmo needs some protection from those pitches right down the middle with that 'weak sauce' he puts on the ball...god help me, I've never seen anything like it"
Ramirez threw one pitch after another down that 'middle' allowing the last place Rangers look like an all star team from all time, with a slugging percentage of 3.5.
Summing it up, Lloyd said, "...it's over..."
Good Lord............
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Friday, August 15, 2014
Hu's on First?
The text
of Abbott & Costello's classic routine.
Abbott:
Well, Costello, I'm going to New York with you. Bucky Harris the Yankee's
manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello:
Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I
certainly do.
Costello:
Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names,
and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott:
Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball
players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello:
You mean funny names?
Abbott:
Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello:
His brother Daffy
Abbott:
Daffy Dean...
Costello:
And their French cousin.
Abbott:
French?
Costello:
Goofe'
Abbott:
Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on
second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello:
That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I
say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello:
Are you the manager?
Abbott:
Yes.
Costello:
You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott:
Yes.
Costello:
And you don't know the fellows' names.
Abbott:
Well I should.
Costello:
Well then who's on first?
Abbott:
Yes.
Costello:
I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
The guy on first.
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
The first baseman.
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
The guy playing...
Abbott:
Who is on first!
Costello:
I'm asking you who's on first.
Abbott:
That's the man's name.
Costello:
That's who's name?
Abbott:
Yes.
Costello:
Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott:
That's it.
Costello:
That's who?
Abbott:
Yes. PAUSE
Costello:
Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott:
Certainly.
Costello:
Who's playing first?
Abbott:
That's right.
Costello:
When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott:
Every dollar of it.
Costello:
All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
The guy that gets...
Abbott:
That's it.
Costello:
Who gets the money...
Abbott:
He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello:
Who's wife?
Abbott:
Yes. PAUSE
Abbott:
What's wrong with that?
Costello:
I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
The guy.
Abbott:
Who.
Costello:
How does he sign...
Abbott:
That's how he signs it.
Costello:
Who?
Abbott:
Yes. PAUSE
Costello:
All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
Abbott:
No. What is on second base.
Costello:
I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott:
Who's on first.
Costello:
One base at a time!
Abbott:
Well, don't change the players around.
Costello:
I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott:
Take it easy, buddy.
Costello:
I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott:
That's right.
Costello:
OK.
Abbott:
Alright. PAUSE
Costello:
What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott:
No. What is on second.
Costello:
I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott:
Who's on first.
Costello:
I don't know.
Abbott:
He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello:
Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott:
Why you mentioned his name.
Costello:
If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott:
No. Who's playing first.
Costello:
What's on base?
Abbott:
What's on second.
Costello:
I don't know.
Abbott:
He's on third.
Costello:
There I go, back on third again! PAUSE
Costello:
Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott:
Alright, what do you want to know?
Costello:
Now who's playing third base?
Abbott:
Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello:
What am I putting on third.
Abbott:
No. What is on second.
Costello:
You don't want who on second?
Abbott:
Who is on first.
Costello:
I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
Costello:
Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott:
Sure.
Costello:
The left fielder's name?
Abbott:
Why.
Costello:
I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott:
Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello:
Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott:
Who's playing first.
Costello:
I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in
left field?
Abbott:
No, What is on second.
Costello:
I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's
on first!
Costello:
I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
Costello:
The left fielder's name?
Abbott:
Why.
Costello:
Because!
Abbott:
Oh, he's center field. PAUSE
Costello:
Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott:
Sure.
Costello:
The pitcher's name?
Abbott:
Tomorrow.
Costello:
You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott:
I'm telling you now.
Costello:
Then go ahead.
Abbott:
Tomorrow!
Costello:
What time?
Abbott:
What time what?
Costello:
What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott:
Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello:
I'll break you're arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the
pitcher's name?
Abbott:
What's on second.
Costello:
I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE
Costello:
Gotta a catcher?
Abbott:
Certainly.
Costello:
The catcher's name?
Abbott:
Today.
Costello:
Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott:
Now you've got it.
Costello:
All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE
Costello:
You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott:
So they tell me.
Costello:
I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my
team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he
bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first.
So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott:
Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello:
I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE
Abbott:
That's all you have to do.
Costello:
Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello:
Now who's got it?
Abbott:
Naturally. PAUSE
Costello:
Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has
it?
Abbott:
Naturally.
Costello:
Who?
Abbott:
Naturally.
Costello:
Naturally?
Abbott:
Naturally.
Costello:
So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott:
No you don't you throw the ball to Who.
Costello:
Naturally.
Abbott:
That's different.
Costello:
That's what I said.
Abbott:
you're not saying it...
Costello:
I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott:
You throw it to Who.
Costello:
Naturally.
Abbott:
That's it.
Costello:
That's what I said!
Abbott:
You ask me.
Costello:
I throw the ball to who?
Abbott:
Naturally.
Costello:
Now you ask me.
Abbott:
You throw the ball to Who?
Costello:
Naturally.
Abbott:
That's it.
Costello:
Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the
ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What.
What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple
play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't
know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott:
What?
Costello:
I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh,
that's our shortstop
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
don't juge, lest you be juged...
Dude, you are so right. ' Juge'ment is God's prerogative. I've a feeling you may be "juged' by some beforehand, however. Hope you didn't pay to much for the tat. (oops, that's too. Now they've got me doing it).
It's always something...
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
To bad...........
....nay, not even that of an education. Wear it proudly, my friend. Just to much...!!
It's always something...
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Boy George
You know, I thought the new prince looked somewhat familiar. Looks like this kid may have a show biz career AND kingship ahead of him. Never too early to start I guess...
It's always something...
Friday, July 18, 2014
Civil Disobedience run amok
I got my voter’s packet today. It’s one of those “who the hell are these
people and why do I care who gets to be the prosecuting attorney (running
unopposed incidentally) and who gets to be a judge in the Northeast District
position number whatever and whosits, whatsis?”
Thus it is my duty to vote, nay, privilege. I just turned the TV off after lunch. Eating lunch and watching the news are
activities that oppose health, digestion and common sense when done together. Kind of like watching someone mashing a rat
repeatedly with a heavy shovel and then being asked how they felt about it in
an investigative reporter interview. I
mean, do I want to watch this? While
eating?
Now, I suppose if I knew the prosecuting attorney and voted
them in…and was subsequently accused of a crime, say like mashing someone with
a heavy shovel, I might want to have a friend on the bench. I guess, barring this scenario, I don’t give
a rat’s ass, mashed or otherwise.
Sigh. Congress and
our ‘guvment’ in general does make one want to grab a heavy shovel and start
wielding it madly about. Not having a
shovel handy, I did the next best thing.
I tore off the stub – the one that says ‘remove this stub and recycle’ –
and threw it IN THE GARBAGE CAN. Not the
recycle bin. Ha! Take that!
Score one for civil disobedience!
Yay Henry D. Thoreau! I know, a
little part of me has taken part in wanton disregard for the planet and, I
suppose, the government so wastefully mismanaging it. I feel vindicated and alive!!
It’s always something…
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