Something wasn't quite right...

The trolly was, I don't know...just sort of plastic-like and weird.  I stepped out onto the street after my experience in the market, opened my gum and was having a pleasant chew when I heard a rumbling.  Down the street I saw a tank coming towards me. This poor guy in a car (not one of the plastic ones I had seen) was signaling, waiting to make a left turn.

Doggone if this tank kept on coming.  It just ran over the guy's car!  Then it rumbled past.

Shocked, I turned to the guy I had seen wearing a shoulder holster in front of me at the market cashier.  He shrugged his shoulders.  "You don't turn left in this town..."  he said.  "No one does - ever."  He said, and walked casually down the block.

It's always something...

Grocery Store

I went into a market on a trip I took recently to buy some bottled water and some gum.  There was a big sheet of plywood temporarily replacing a plate window behind the cashier's area.  Everyone in this place was armed!  Even the little kid.  In fact, her teddy bear was packing a little plastic shoulder piece. 

The cashier took my money and gave me a suspicious look.  

It's always something...

Dick Cheney's heart Checkup

Photo looking into Dick Cheney's heart

Somehow appropriate on Valentine's day, Dick Cheney checked into the clinic for a check of the status of his new heart.

Astonished, Dr. Cutter said, "Yes, we did a routine check today.  Even shining a strong light from the probe the image came in black.  This new heart has become as black as that acrimonious piece of shit he had for an original heart after we removed it.

Yes, it appears that even a new heart placed inside of Dick Cheney has succumbed to the acrid, sharp, biting, pungent, caustic, mean and bitter human being that he is.  

Other than that, he's quite the likable fellow.

It's always something...

Best intentions

Dang!  I meant to post this to FaceBook but I got distracted and never got to it.

It's always something...

Mrs. Applebottom goes to War

Mrs. Applebottom is shown here in a training exercise sponsored by the NRA.  

"This woman has shown such potential..."  an NRA spokesperson said, "We've got to keep her on the front line."

This will be a common suburban scene in the next few years, according to NRA specialists.  "This is precisely WHY we all need to be armed-to-the-teeth!" a spokesperson said.  "In fact, this is why we should not stop with just the AR-15.  Citizens should be armed with fully automatic weapons so that they can hold back the tyranny of our government."

You go, Mrs. Applebottom...you GO!  Don't tread on HER!

It's always something...

Secretary of Offense

Washington, D.C. -  Senator John McCain has stepped up to the position of the newly created Secretary of Offense, for the United States.

After the hearings on whether or not to confirm Chuck Hagel to replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of Defense, the Guns Over People (GOP) Party had an epiphany.  This became a moment of clarity, just a few days away from the Super bowl, the nation’s most important event of each year. 

“My god, we’ve been missing it all along.”  One Republican House Representative who asked to remain blameless nameless said.  “To remain great we need to learn the simple concept from football – and that is, you must have a defense AND an strong offense.”

And who best qualified to be this new Secretary of Offense than Senator John McCain.  True enough, America has the most guns, the most ammunition, the most bellicose public attitude to violence, the most nukes…we can follow John McCain into the rising sun of total world domination, starting war after war.  Iraq was just a taste.  We could have a balanced game of Defense AND Offense…finally

As Randy Newman said, 

“They all hate us anyhow

So let's drop the big one now

Let's drop the big one now”