A centuries-old argument

There have been squabbles in Catholic-Jewish relations for centuries.  And as recently as two years ago disappointments arose again, this time from text in the Vatican’s Good Friday prayer.  One can research this, but the holiday season of good cheer and all that has inspired me to write of the wonderful story that happened about 400 years ago.

Back then the Jewish folks had a modest residency at the Vatican.  This had been on and off again over the centuries.  One day the Pope had words with the Jewish delegation and decided to once and for all evict them from the Vatican.  This caused uproar with the Jewish Community such that the Pope agreed to a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish Community; if the Jew won, the Jews could stay; if the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no choice.  Attempting to catch the Pope off guard they picked a commoner among them named Moishe to be their representative.  Moishe asked for one additional rule for the debate.  To make it more interesting, neither party would be allowed to speak during the debate.  The Pope was skeptical but willing to go along and he agreed.

The day of the great debate came.  Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other.  For a full minute they were motionless; then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger.  The pope then waved his fingers in a circle around his head.

Moishe then pointed to the ground where he sat.  The Pope looked at him and quickly pulled a wafer and a glass of wine from his ornate satchel.  Moishe pulled out an apple from his paper sack.

The Pope was dumbfounded and stood up, raising his hands saying, “This man is too good.  The Jews can stay.”

An hour later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.  The Pope said; “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.  He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions.  Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.  He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was right here with us.  I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show him that God absolves us from our sins through His Son.  He pulled an apple from his sack to remind me of Original Sin.  He had an answer for everything!”

Meanwhile, the Jewish Community had crowded around Moishe.  “What happened?”  They asked.  “Well,” Said Moishe, first he indicated to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here.  I indicated back to him that not ONE of us was leaving.  Then he indicated that the whole Vatican as well as the city would be cleared of the Jews.  I let HIM know that WE were staying right here.”

“And then….?”  Asked a woman. 

“I don’t know,” Moishe said.  “He took out his lunch and I took out mine….”

Inner Peace Discovered

I saw this awhile back on Dr. Phil.  I don’t usually watch him but I had just thrown a paperweight across the room in a fit of uncontrolled rage watching a brief segment of Hannity on Fox News (which I had stopped on while surfing the cable).  It shattered an expensive vase and damaged a lamp.  I was about to throw the remote through the TV itself.  Picking it up, my thumb hit the buttons and Dr. Phil popped up.  I saw this as a divine intervention.

I feel compelled to pass this along via my blog because I found it to be the best advice I’ve had in some time. 

Dr. Phil proclaimed “…the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started – but have never finished…”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished.  I made a resolution right then and there.

Before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Valium prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.