Yelling in The Basement: A weekend in Westport, Wa

I first saw Westport when I was about 5. It was all black and white back then. I don't remember much about it but it was really strange and quite frightening riding there in the back seat with my mom and grandparents and seeing the world change to black and white as we went through Aberdeen. My grandpa scared me a little when he got out a bottle of whiskey as we drove into town, took a big swig and chortled in a pirate's voice "...arrgh, we're in Westport, matey...". This had set the tone for that day back then.

My friends and I visited Westport last weekend. Coming back after 50 some-odd years we found that it not only flickered into black and white now and then, drinking seemed to be still quite the pastime. We were pretty hammered that first afternoon when we went out to see the sights. Nothing was in focus, no matter how I tried to take photographs. This....THIS, by the way, is THE TALLEST light house in the State of Washington just so you know. We went up to it and by God, it is.

We found our way back to the car and went over to Ted's IGA to get some supper fixin's. The parking lot was pretty vacant, however, there was a plethora of various dilapidated bicycles parked all around. Walt explained that most everyone in Westport has lost their driver's license due to a DUI so they ride bicycles. I didn't get a good photo of one (mainly because these scruffy folk seemed to take their rides seriously and being new in town I didn't want to wear out my welcome.) I managed to come up with a facsimile here in what may just be a Westporter's dream ride.

Riding a bicycle isn't without risk, however. This me-lee occurred last summer on the main drag when a newcomer to the town who had not yet had a DUI plowed into a group headed down to Ted's to take advantage of a two-for-the-price-of-one sale on Mike's hard lemonade, as long as supplies lasted.

"Geezus H. Christ," One witness said, "It was something like I've never seed. They was bodies lyin' all over." Miraculously no one was hurt. Doc Adams said later he thought that the .34 alcohol levels of most of the riders contributed to this.

Every weekend during most summers a tour boat heads out to spot the drunk floaters that wash up on Saturday and Sunday mornings on the jetty just out from the tide flats. They get their photos and then fish them out, back slapping high five-ing. Then its a memorable boat ride back in as the tourists get treated to the tallest tales ever imagined (or hallucinated). Progressive town that it is, Westport has a "hike 'n bike" program where folks like the floaters and others can borrow a bike and return it to another station around town. Eventually they come across where they left their own bikes.