Sunday, December 19, 2010
A centuries-old argument
Friday, December 10, 2010
Inner Peace Discovered
finished. I made a resolution right then and there.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Pat-down alternative
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Jesus at the Metropolitan Market
No. Apparently a stylishly dressed woman was tendering to her stylishly dressed kid and had spilled a $7.50 grande, decaf, double shot, no-whip, mocha-yoka coffee drink inside what appeared to be brand new champagne colored Cadillac SUV mega land-yacht. I surveyed the scene, chuckled to myself and walked into the store, happy that something bad had happened to some hoity-toity rich person.
Then I remembered reading recently again about someone commenting on those W.W.J.D bracelets. What Would Jesus Do? Shit, c'mon, God, don't lay this junk on me right now, I'm sleepy and hungry and in nooo mood.
I started singing this little jingle..."what would Jesus do? what would jeeezus doo, do, do..." and I thought, "well, I suppose He wouldn't have had pleasure from someone's misfortune, now would He?" No, I suppose not.
Then an apple rolled across my path. I picked it up and took it over to the guy stacking them unsuccessfully at the fruit counter. His face lit up as he thanked me. He put it back in the stack. Note to self - this is why we wash apples before eating them. Anyway, it sorta picked me up and gave me a bit of a Jesus is walkin' here strut.
I walked past a depleted bread shelf and, feeling like Jesus, waved my hand over it to see if I could make more bread appear like in that Cecil B. DeMille event 'feeding the 5,000'. Didn't work. The bread was as sad and empty as before. Ahh, WTF I thought. It was fun while it lasted.
I back track to get something and pass back by the bread shelf, now resplendent with fresh new bread, packed to the brim. I have to saay I did a double take and looked at my hands. I went back outside to get in my car and noticed that the SUV had departed with only a small puddle remaining. Then I saw a bread truck leaving the parking lot. Uh huh. I think i might get one of those bracelets anyway. It's entertaining.
It's always something
Friday, October 29, 2010
Catch the last train home - Got to get on it
The lobby is empty. Everyone made the train but me this time. There is a cold damp wind out here on the platform as I peer down the track and study it as it disappears into a point. This is one-point perspective you see, and I understand that and know how to draw it and even teach it. It's what I've done for 30 years. But this morning it only reveals a distance into which I won't go today. I've missed the train.
I sit inside the station where it's warm. Even the ticket windows are closed. I look at the light reflected in the windows. It's dark outside and the play of light inside and out, the distorted and reflected colors and shapes are intriguing. The floor is at least 100 years old and has a marvelous patina to it. The shadows play in and out on the stacked equipment in the corner. I think about my work, all the buildings completed - some not so great, some quite satisfying. I take out my sketch pad and pencil and start drawing, thinking about a composition of shapes I see in charcoal or maybe oil. Maybe both.
I look down the track again but this time it's not with a lament of things missed. It's looking for a train to come my way, one on which I will ride to a new destination of adventure, art and expression of who I really am.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A weekend in Westport, Wa
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Fine Print digressions
However, I cannot tell you how much I loathe commercials. Honest-to-God, given the choice of PAYING for watching TV without commercials I would do so. Yeah, I contribute to PBS. PBS doesn't have the really shitty stuff I like to waste my time on though. You know, those times when you just want to sit down and watch some worthless shit on the networks.
The price you pay to watch this worthless network shit is having to watch commercials. 20 minutes of this flotsam for every 40 minutes of programming. AND, I don't know how they do it, but the networks have gotten together and TIMED this barrage of flotsam so that you can't switch from one shitty program to another shitty program without watching a commercial. So you are completely immersed in shit.
Now that they have you where they want you, these hawking bozos insult you further by telling you one thing and completely denying every word they have promised by putting it in the SMALL PRINT. I recorded some of these and went back to read this. It takes quite an effort to see it, even on pause. NONE of what is said in the ad is actually true. It's like watching political ads all year long. (don't get me started).
I went on Google to research some of this and it IS true. fine print disclaims most of what is said. And nothing can be done about it. It's all legal.
Politicians, advertisers, they ALL take us for idiots with I.Q.'s of under 40. Every one of us Amerikens. Damn, maybe it's true.....
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Sacrifice for a cause
Wait 'till you see the corners.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
'Kitch' wins out in Salina, Kansas
This...this is something that perhaps would win an AIA award in a town like, say Seattle, where avant-garde stuff done by 'playful' and 'kitchy' architecture firms get the nod of approval from their narcissistic friends in high places.
So - Miller Hull...Mithun...you oh so very cool designers, eat your hearts out. And start copying your next design award material.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Day 8 in the Heartland
Tonight we had my big send off at my brother's house with take-out BBQ and some white reisling wine. White wine goes ok with BBQ in that it serves to provide much needed alcohol to the system.
We spent some time at dinner discussing "Modern Family". My sister-in-law's son is best friends with Eric Stonestreet, actor who won an Emmy for supporting actors on the show recently. Mom had never seen it. Well, she had seen it, but at my brother's house. She hadn't actually watched it as a matter of choice at her house. Her TV is hard-wired to FOX.
I went home with mom to spend my last night there and we were going to watch "Modern Family" on our own.
"What channel is Modern People on?"
"ABC mom what."
"What?"
"ABC what."
"What?"
"ABC."
We get to the show and turn the volume to 29.
"Well, I just am not getting this."
"Stay with it awhile and watch what."
"What?"
"STAY WITH THE PROGRAM AWHILE AND WATCH."
"Ok. The people are talking too fast."
So, I explain who is related to who, and which one is Eric. And we watch for awhile. The windows are open in the house and driver's by outside on the street look for the drive-in theatre which they can hear through their closed car windows but can't see.
The show concludes.
"Well, I just didn't get any of that."
"You might have to watch it more to get into it, mom what."
"What?"
"YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WATCH MORE OF IT TO UNDERSTAND."
"Well, I just don't get any of that."
We see "Cougar Town" start and I tell mom that it's a lame show and I don't like it and she says 'Oh," and continues to watch it. I didn't say anything and endured the first 10 minutes of it.
"Well, I'm still just not getting this. Now they've changed some of the people, it's just confusing."
"Mom, we've been watching 'Cougar Town' what."
"What?"
"WE'RE WATCHING ANOTHER SHOW NOW."
"This isn't Modern People?"
"No, it's 'Cougar Town' what"
"What?"
"IT'S COUGAR TOWN."
"Oh. Well, do you like it?"
"I thnk it's lame what."
"What?"
"I THINK IT'S LAME."
"Well why didn't you say you wanted to watch the game?"
We watched a few innings of the KC Royals game and called it a night.
I leave in 10 hours.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
It's what we did
This place used to be a beehive of activity back when I was a kid. Dad would drive us north of town to watch the "wheat dump" in late June early July. Acres and acres of wheat harvested, put into trucks, put into boxcars and transported in great steel wheeled trains to the town's grain elevators. Late into the night it went on, screeching, groaning metal bin doors vomiting out tons of grain down through grates to be conveyored up into the cylindrical cathedrals.
It was cool. Cool to see, but also to be out at 11PM at night in the summer of 1957 when you were 10 years old.
None of this is used anymore.
About a quarter mile down the tracks stands what's left of the Salina train depot, a red and white brick building sporting knee braces and wide eaves that said goodbye to my dad and uncles boarding the train for WWII years ago.
I sat on a large stack of creosote railroad ties and pondered the weight of time slowly lumbering through this place much like the ponderous boxcars that once moved through as well.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Just a thought
If I painted myself would I look 15?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Politics in the Heartland
First of all, I didn't know that all, not most, but all of our problems we have in this country today are the cause of liberals. I don't have room here to list all the facts, but I'm told it's true.
And - the reason the GOP, when elected back into power has such a hard time correcting the course of the nation is because the liberals always leave it in such disarray. In fact, the country is STILL reeling from the FDR administration! Holy cow. I had no idea.
It takes more than two successive GOP administrations, (8 years of power) to right the wrongs of a liberal administration. How many terms...we don't know.
It was suggested to me that, this being the case, the two party system should be done away with and candidates for office be elected out of the one true party, the GOP. Leadership would be strong and consistant and we all would come to know what is expected of us to exist as a nation.
Government would be limited to a body that offered the capitalist regime not laws, but only a suggested guide on how to operate. Government would not interfere. Goodness and right would emerge and all citizens would be expected to pull their load - do their share. The lazy and indigent would be left to the fruits of their own ineptness and would perish on their own accord, not on the State's. Those not willing to go along with the rest would be forced into labor camps and eliminate the need for illegal immigrant workers who presently plague our great nation.
No more lazy people, no more folks who choose not to make it on their own.
This is what I have learned so far. I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and if you're not white...you're fucked
Zieg heil, mein kampf!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sarge's Apartments
Drove out to the former Strategic Air Command Air Base in Salina today after lunch with my old friend Bert. Salina used to have a SAC air base back in the Truman/Eisenhower days - the cold war days. You wanna talk about fear. This terrorist shit is lame compared to instant thermal Nuclear annhilation at 5,000 deg.F. Salina was home to several B-52's with nuculear bomb storage bays spread over acres of old farm land converted to government property. Yeah, we had a special spot on the Ruskie's missle target charts.
I used to have nightmares as a boy walking through the Kansas Van Gogh-yellow sunflower fields with periwinkle blue skies - and all these magnificent white plumes, lines of missle vapor trails, converging on our town hoping to get us before we got them. Time for one more breath. Maybe two. Yellow flash. Then white. Then heat. Then - silence after my body goes microscopic, atomic.
Our teachers taught us to get under our desks if there wasn't enough time to go to the bomb shelter. WTF? It would have been better just to all go outside and PROUDLY give the decending white plumes the one-finger salute...a last futile act of defiance.
But I digress.
Sarge's apartments. My very first job as a licensed architect. They're still standing, those magnificent converted SAC barracks I so lovingly turned into sad boxes of cheese for sad cheesy people to live in. They still do. And, Sadly, they were better off in 1975 than they are today.
It's never too soon to panic.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Haaaaaaannity in the Heartland
"there, you damn n*****, take THAT!"
I have a week to go. Oh, they're nice enough back here. And I'm a home-town boy and all that. But baby - watch your back. Especially true of the jayhawk ilk.
It's never too late to panic!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
In the heartland
I can only visit with my mom and my brother, watch Fox news, listen to the hatred of Obama and the sainted virtues of Glen Beck (geezus I can't believe I actually typed those letters that spelled the name) and newt gingrich.
a good friend of mine recently compared her family to a circus act and her fiance's family to a funeral reception. My family was in-between. Well maybe is.
I am a twisted individual. Ok, i'll share the thought i had today waiting for my flight.
I watched this poor old bent-over guy walking, no - lurching, with assistance down the airport corridor. So, when they eventually bury him, do they have to make a kind of 'bent' coffin, or maybe one with a raised section like a camper? Do they just flatten him out with some weights? He wouldn't feel it I suppose.
No, I sat there and thought about this for some time.
I dunno, maybe it was the coffee or maybe it was my cell phone rattling down in the urinal while I tried to answer it earlier that morning. (what is it about urinals that stimulate cell phones to ring?)
I answered it since it wasn't that pissy. It was Dino Rossi asking me to vote for him. Now THAT was pissy.
and remember -
It's never too soon to panic..........
Sunday, September 19, 2010
no building code in 1906
Our remodel is basically a rebuild. We've filled all the concrete blocks in the foundation with concrete, we've added about 12 new columns and beams in the crawl space and added these huge goddam metal brackets that are designed to hold the house down in case of an earthquake.
What baffles me is just how did this house survive 104 years on this earth without these code upgrades?
The project moves on. More progress photos to come.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one, and they all stink
I'm sitting here tonight watching Glen Beck. Just finished The O'Reilly Factor. I discovered that it is better to watch these programs with the sound on mute. Why, you say - why on earth are you watching these programs? Well, I'll tell you. I'm going to Kansas next week for my 45th high school reunion. I feel I must prepare myself for the immersion back into Fox Network Land. I grew up with these values, but they have worn thin out here on the left coast (that's the oh, so clever way the west is described by those in the heartland). My old values drilled into my psyche throughout childhood have eroded out here. I still harbor virulent hate for those who are not exactly like me, but it has receded pretty far back after 30+ years.
So I am preparing myself for a two week stint in the heartland and an existence with family gathered around the sacred Fox Box every night after dinner where we will engage in lively facist conversation and what to do with the liberals, blacks, gays, chinks and kykes fouling the system. Grab your coat, get your hat - leave your worries on the doorstep....life can be complete, on the far right side of the street.....
Good night and good luck
Friday, August 20, 2010
new roof sort of
There isn't much left of the original house. We left the front roof because a portion of it is in the front setback. The house was built before the set back became part of the building code. I'm just glad they didn't make us tear down the "illegal" part.
Went out to buy our appliances last weekend. Went by to check on a detail before we actually purchased them and found the store had gone out of business. Just like that. There was a woman standing at the door reading the notice when we came up. She had purchased appliances last week. She's out of luck. Everyone says what a great time to build if you can afford it. Actually, no one has anything in stock anymore. And it's hard to find the simplest things.
My parents grew up in the Great Depression. I missed all that. All those 'good ol' days'. But we have some of our own now. Yeah, we've got our own. Back then I heard much about people helping their neighbors, helping each other. This Great New Depression, however, has a streak of meanness running through it. A great river of hate flowing through the nation. Who the hell am I, to be building this house, when so many have so little?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sifting through the potsherds
So I'm thinking, why not just throw everything out? I probably will.
I've run across several projects that for some reason all the design sketches were kept. I go through them like an old man looks at early photos of his now grown or deceased children. Why am I so emotionally attached to this shit? I guess that's why I never was a good businessman. I had a heart. Business requires lack thereof. It's why I failed. I tried to help others rather than help myself. And to think I started life as a conservative from the Midwest. Bloodless heartlessness wins every time - Oh, the shame.
Goodnight Pen.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Watching your friend die
Monday, July 12, 2010
What will go wrong next?
I haven't been keeping this up. I care about this house. I care about it a lot. But it has beat me to shit. The building department has beat me to shit. I suppose there will be some fun in this sometime but right now i just can't see it. I remain manic depressive. I remain unemployed. I spend my days trying to find something for employees to do, figuring out how and when we will finally close the doors, and working on the house. I have never ever felt so low and without hope.
Good night
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
no Photo
This will not make any sense. I am lost. I am found, and lost again. It is elusive. Shit. I have to go to bed soon - to waste 6 hours in a process of dying yet regenerating for another day. How perverse it is. And, my God, the waste of 6 hours saddens me so.
I have not been drawing. I so need to. I've mostly just sat in a stupor, joining my fellow americans who do the same each and every night. Watching their hate-of-choice. Watching their heroes of caustic retoric. the politics. the waste. The venom filled place this country has become....the enormous hypocracy and despair.
fuck it. good night.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Those of you who have been in our house may recognize the stained glass sailboat window. it used to be over the bath tub in the downstairs bathroom.
We discussed doing things differently than we had originally planned this weekend, now that the space is opened up. But the planning is sound and we keep coming full circle to the design we have chosen. We've been planning this for about 4 years now.
I am considering entering this remodel in a local Seattle competition. more on that. I want to share and show that the world doesn't need big, new houses - that small can work, and better yet, small saved and reused. It's folly to think one cannot leave a carbon footprint but wise to walk softly on the earth.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
More demolition
Having your house demolished, or at least the insides and the adjacent buildings, fence, etc, is a clensing experience. The house really doesn't look the same on the inside today. Lots of lath and plaster. Lots of 1 inch by 6 inch wood sheathing slats on the sides of the house. They didn't have plywood in 1906. In fact, I would guess most of the original lumber and materials used to build our house in 1906 were brought to the site by horse drawn cart.
Carpenters made about $2.00 per day in 1906. That was in New York. Who knows what they made in Kirkland, Wasington? Power tools? I don't think so. Fork lifts and Genie loaders/haulers? I don't think so. No, the guys (and it WAS only guys) showed up around sun-up with their wooden tool boxes, hand saws, planes, etc. They sawed the planks, planed the edges, nailed them in by hand. They even were able to build from drawings done by hand as well, AND without computer generated dimensions down to 15/16ths of an inch. These men were true builders. Of course, I say that and am yet reminded every time i walk by the 1888 brick house down the street with the crooked brick window header that "oh, well, got 'er good 'nuf" said at day's end echos to this very day.
Things have changed. For the better? Perhaps. Perhaps.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
our house is a very very very fine house....
Well, here we go. Week no. 1 of 52 weeks until completion. the house was built in 1906 and we have chosen to refurbish and restore it rather than to tear it down. I'm an architect. The house belongs to my wife and me, although it is her money which will restore it. I basically am unemployed and have absolutely nothing to my name. I chose that I suppose, choosing architecture as a profession. I've been kicked in the teeth and had my guts ripped out on a daily basis for 30 some odd years. Thank god for my wife who loves me in spite of all that i am and am not.
Most folks don't understand what architects do. the other folks just don't care what they do and developers, well they despise what they do. You see, you need to have an architect "stamp' drawings for permits. developers hate that. what a waste of profit!
Anyway, we have decded to restore this house rather than tear it down and build a large, over designed stucco behemoth with windows and crenilations of monstrous propostion that currently grace Kirklands's architectural landscape.
But I digress. And, since no one is ever going to read this it really doesn't matter. someday someone will find this log of the construction of our house and say, 'WTF was THAT all about?'
Monday, April 19, 2010
My cousin died of 3,000 poison dart stings
I sat this morning, patiently wading through the morning's conversations at the office. Last night some one broke into my car and stole my GPS device. I wanted to tell. I waited. Then a pause, and my chance. You tell your story. there. Ahh, completion, satisfaction, wait for the response. the anticipated response. and.
And you hear about all the times stuff was stolen from someone else and all the horrible things and this and that and my uncle one time had his whole fucking spleen, heart and lungs stolen - right OUT OF HIS BODY. And my friend like, had their house stolen while they slept and the thieves moved it to like, Pennsylvania of all places overnight and then they, and then they.... yada, yada.
Geezus H. fucking Christ. Ok, yeah, boy THAT sure was worse than what happened to me. For sure. Really? Boy, what tough luck.
What the fuck is up with the fact that every time EVERY TIME you tell someone something that caused you grief, well like your brother died of cancer, and the person says something like "gosh that's awful. My sister died of 3,000 poison dart stings while walking through the amazon on a guided tour for 'saving the forests of earth' project last year.
Give me a break. Ok. I get it. i am supposed to just listen.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Paradise Lost....an interview
We recently saw "Paradise Lost" at the Intiman. This is an interview with Lori Larsen, actor in the play, by Stephanie Coen of the Intiman Theatre. I am reprinting it here to share with you all.
________________________
In “Paradise Lost,” playwright Clifford Odets dramatized life in the 1930s. In her performance, actor Lori Larsen makes those long-gone woes feel part of the present
Apr 14, 2010, Vol: 17, No: 16
These days, it’s hard not to compare our current economic state with an earlier one that befell the world 80 years before. Many draw parallels between the Great Depression – with unemployment hovering above 20 percent, with personal income plummeting 33 percent or more – and today, when reports that banks only repossessed 79,000 homes in a month amounts to good news. Comparisons between then and now only gain strength when some in the media refer to our current era as the “Great Recession.” But how did people in the 1930s view their situation? And what can we, in the present, learn from the stories of the past?
Several days a week, since March 26, Lori Larsen has been trying to figure that out while others watch. That’s the night Larsen, and a cast of 14 others, opened in Intiman Theatre’s production of “Paradise Lost,” by the playwright Clifford Odets (1906 – 1963). Set in the early ’30s, Odets’ Depression-era rendering imagines what life might have been like for working people, in that period that’s known to most of us from history books or iconic photographs. In the play Larsen plays Clara Gordon, the matriarch of a family that, over the course of three acts, has the screws put to it: bad business deals, foreclosure, homelessness, chronic illness, death, mob dealings. You know: drama, of the type that graces the stage. And as the screws tighten, Clara tries her best not to flinch, to remain present and address each problem as it arises. Sitting in the audience watching Larsen’s performance, it’s hard not to be drawn in, to want to sit down at her kitchen table and admire – and sometimes fault – the ways she tries to get out of every bad situation that seems intent on pinning her down. She’s got the practical “I’ll-take-care-of-it” mother thing down.
But since waltzing onto stage and sitting down with the actor is usually frowned upon, sometimes you have to settle for another option. In this case, sitting down to lunch with Larsen, to talk of the play and economic hard times. It might feel incongruous, then, to have this conversation at the Grill, Nordstrom’s basement restaurant. Larsen herself admits she only knows it because a friend played piano there. But what better place to chat about depressions and recessions, homes owned and lost, money gained and squandered than in a store where, 10 yards away, a basic t-shirt can be had for $55 or a pair of sunglasses can set you back $450? There, Larsen described what it means to be a poor, yet happy, actor in a little-known play.
You grew up here.
Yeah. I was born on 71st and Greenwood, in my grandmother’s house. John Bastyr delivered me. [Laughs.] I grew up on 17th Street, in the University District. You know that chestnut-lined street? I grew up on that street. It was a very normal middle-class upbringing. I decided, when I was 17, to become an actor and I’ve been an actor ever since.
But I’ve never made much money. I’m in your lowest poverty level group [she laughs], which is fine. I had the good fortune, in 1976, of buying a house for a very small amount of money. A very miniscule amount of money. In those days, nobody wanted to live in Seattle. It was $2,000 down and $150 a month, for 30 years. You know, I paid it off. I still live there, in the C.D. I’ve had some, you know, tough times: There was the crack epidemic in the neighborhood. It’s changed a lot.
I’m so fortunate: I make between $18,000 [and] $22,000 a year every year, and that usually includes about five grand of unemployment. I mean, I just live really low-key. And I watched the real estate go up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up, and the real root of our economic crisis [is] housing is unaffordable. There’s no working class anymore. You’re either [at] Real Change or you’re a yuppie. What’s in between? My [property] taxes are $5,000 a year. I can’t wait to be 62 when I get a break, for being poor, on my taxes, because they’re killing me.
How would you describe “Paradise Lost?”
There’s been a lot of emphasis on the recession and Depression, but I think of it as a family story, a story about a family and family dynamics.
One of the things I was so struck by was [the cast] read some Studs Terkel–
Yeeess.
—his Depression-era writings. I read a lot of the interviews he did. And these people were talking about all the hardships they experienced during the Depression. But every single one of them, to a person almost, had nostalgia for the sense of community that existed during the ’30s, that got lost in the war era, when the men all left, and then in the ’50s, when everyone flew to the suburbs. As affluence grew, existential reality grew. And the sense of being there for others, the interdependence of people, was something that almost everyone was nostalgic for. You know: Some guy doesn’t have anywhere to stay, the furnace man, you put him in the basement. You’ve got a neighbor, you used to have a pretty close friend, he comes over all the time, you feed him. His daughter marries your son and then he moves in with you. And yeah, you’re exasperated at the time, but then [you’re] looking back on that time with incredible nostalgia for all the ways that human beings helped each other.
There are a lot of economic stresses on those people. And they have no safety net in those days: There’s no Social Security, there’s no old age pension. There’s nothing. If you lose, you gotta start over. There’s no unemployment. The safety net was created out of the suffering of those people.
There was this one guy who came and moved all the furniture out of people’s houses, in the Studs Terkel [interviews], and they would go back to the people who had hired them and say, “Well, the mattress was filled with bedbugs, we couldn’t take it.” And the mattress was fine, but they just wanted to leave it there for the people, so they would have something to sleep on. And people were always finding creative ways of helping each other out: While the system was trying to pull people apart, people were stepping up. So I was really struck by that.
One of the things that happened to me while I was doing this play was my wallet was stolen. I was in a restaurant, my purse was open likes this [she unzips it]. There wasn’t anyone around. And I went over [she stands up and pretends saying to wait staff, ‘Hey, you forgot to bring me my soup,’ then sits back in chair] and when I came back, it was gone. Stolen. And it was right during tech week [the week before opening night]. I had to get new credit cards, the whole [shebang]. But I noticed that when my wallet was stolen, I felt lighter. Of course, it was sad and all that, but there was also this sense of lightness for a whole day, two days: I didn’t have any money, I didn’t have any credit cards, I didn’t have any I.D. I just had me. I felt this weird sense of lightness and [Buddhist nun and author] Pema Chödrön says, “The closest you get to enlightenment is when you’re feeling completely groundless.” It helped me understand that there’s a light side to losing everything. It’s not to discount the suffering involved, but there’s also another side to the coin, which I’ve been exploring in my performance and it’s much more accurate to the truth, than always being so unhappy. I don’t know if you run across that in the homeless people you know, this kind of lightness.
It varies: I think for some people, it’s very heavy. But for other people, they feel they don’t need it: Why do I have to have all this stuff weighing me down? I can just do what I want, and go where I want and be who I want, and I don’t have these tethers.
I think the value of this play is that you look at this one moment, when they lose everything, and then you can reflect: What would I do? How would it come down for me, if I had no place to go, with nothing left? How would I respond?
You mentioned the Great Depression and right now, we’re in the so-called Great Recession. And there are all kinds of news reports about what’s going on: people losing their homes, becoming homeless, health care. How do you think drama allows us to investigate something like economic reality that may not come across in journalism or news reports?
Well, Obama sort of got over the last health care hurdle when he took that little boy and told his story, remember? [Marcelas Owens, 11, from Seattle, stood next to Obama when the President signed health care legislation on March 23. Marcelas’ mother died of complications from pulmonary hypertension when Marcelas was 8. His mother had been denied health care coverage.] A story, which has emotional content about real people and what they actually experience, is the only way we are capable of experiencing empathy. We need a story. That’s why we tell each other stories: to shore up our compassion, shore up our empathy. When you tell a story, you’re absorbed by the drama of it and that drama enables people to feel empathy, which is the key to being human. It’s really the key. A dry story in a newspaper, with statistics: It’s hard to put a human face on that. You could extrapolate “Paradise Lost” for anybody who’s facing foreclosure.
Compassion and empathy are quite sophisticated contemporary notions. It’s been a long evolutionary path for us to get to the point where the Dalai Lama is the big celebrity that he is. It’s been a huge evolutionary path because compassion requires the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. And drama has that capacity. It’s the miracle of movies. And the theater is even more immediate because it’s right there.
So you’ve got this great scene –
Where I lose my moral compass.
Could you set it up, what you go through?
Well, [my character and her husband, Leo, have] lost everything and the business partner proposes that we burn down our business to get the insurance to save our skins, and my husband says, “No,” because he’s got a strong sense of integrity and morality. We’ve lost everything due to criminality of the business partner and when I find out that’s what went down, at first I’m appalled. And then I’m reflecting on it for a moment: “Well, since there’s no other way out, maybe we should go for that.” And I have a moment of moral turpitude, a lapse, where I ask him to think about the idea of maybe [burning down the business] and he gets mad at me. I realize I’ve stepped over the line and that’s what makes our relationship so strong: that he’s a moral compass for his wife.
So she has a moment where she goes over to the dark side, just out of desperation, and he reins her back in right away. They’re saved from doing anything stupid like that. But as a result of that moment, the spiral down to having absolutely nothing begins. She can see the writing on the wall. But their relationship is such that he’s foolish and he doesn’t act when he should, and as a result of his inability to act, things fall away from them in ways that could have been prevented. Women in those days couldn’t really step up and run things, husbands were in charge. She says, “I wanted to go for [a] loan myself, but Leo says it’s a man’s job.” And by the time he goes, there’s 48,000 [people] in line ahead of him.
There’s also a parallel with health care.
We’ve got this son who needs health care. And with no money, no business, we can’t provide for our son. So that’s part of where her desperation comes from: It’s not just losing her house, but they’ve got this child, their last surviving son, who’s dying, who needs help, who needs care. Imagine changing his soiled pants, trying to feed him – Did you see the movie “Awakenings?” Same disease [encephalitis lethargica, which can debilitate someone until he can’t speak or move] that Robert DeNiro had, that’s what [the son] has. There was an epidemic in the late teens, early ‘20s that sort of swept through the United States. He’s one of the vestiges of that epidemic and it’s a horrible, horrible thing.
So yeah, they’ve got a lot of difficulties and to behave heroically in the face of all those difficulties is not something that most human beings can do. It brings out the worst in people. It certainly brings out the worst in Clara.
Are you familiar with many playwrights of that era?
You know, I’m not. I mean, the patois: the rat-tat-tat-tat of that. The faster the better. Clifford Odets is a true genius in terms of making it easy for the actors to flow with the lines. I’ve been really, really impressed, having done a lot of plays, of what a great wordsmith he was in making dramatic situations. He was a master. He was only 28 when he wrote this.
And when does it close?
April 25.
And when is your [60th] birthday?
April 23. I’m playing that night. I’m pretty happy about it. It’s a perfect thing to be doing. I love working. It really makes me happy. You know, I don’t work that much. I don’t work as much as I’d like. It’s just hard to get a job. It’s really hard.
Stephanie Coen
Director of Communications I Intiman Theatre
206.204.3320 I stephanie@intiman.org
www.intiman.org
2010 SEASON
Paradise Lost I The Thin Place I Ruined
A Doctor In Spite Of Himself I The Scarlet Letter
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Table in partial light
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Stuff to do when I'm Dead
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Filling out the Census
“Hey Angelo, how many people we got in dis house?”
“What?”
“How-many-fuckin’-people-we-got-in-dis-house?”
“Who wants to know, Man?”
“Dis fuckin’ thing we got in de mail wants to know.”
“Who sent it?”
“I dunno, some government ting or something.”
“We goin’ get arrested, man?”
“No, man, we ain’t getting arrested. We gotta fill dis out is all.”
Shit, man I dunno. Like when?”
“NOW, man.”
“No, I mean like, when do dey wanna know when the people are living in here?”
“I guess like sleepin’ and stuff like that.”
“Well shit, man, count ‘em up.”
“Ok, but is your ol’ lady livin’ here now?”
“Fuck, man, who knows? It’s up to her like we talked about the other day. Count her like half time I guess.”
“Ok, what about Grampa?”
“Ain’t seen him for awhile, man.”
“Well, is he like, living here?”
“Shit, I dunno. Is he like living at all?”
“Well his shit’s here.”
“I know, but his shit is everywhere. Sometimes he sleeps down under the freeway.”
“I know. So you ain’t seen him?”
“Not for a couple a weeks.”
“Ok, I count him as here, but in another place too. Dey got a box for dat. What about your kids?”
“What about ‘em?”
“Well, they here or not?”
Tony is living with his girlfriend Angelina upstairs and Miguel, shit who knows where the fuck dat punk sleeps?”
“Ok so two then, counting Angelina but not Miguel.”
“He might come home.”
“Too fukin’ late, man I wrote 3.”
“We count the baby?”
“What fukin’ baby?”
“Dat baby your sister got now.”
“Oh, shit I guess. They here now?”
“Seen ‘em this morning, man.”
“Tell her I want to talk to her.”
“Ok. We count the baby?”
“Shit I dunno. Maybe like a tiny person or something.”
“Naw,man dat’s likle a midget. I’ll count it as ½.”
“How many we got?”
“About 7 ½. or so”
“Shit,man, that’s a lot.”
“Hey, dis ain’t MY idea.”
“Yeah, maybe we’ll get more food stamps.”
“Yeah. I’m makin’ it an even 9.”