Driving on a planet

That you are headed to Kansas City from the west probably is not the first thing one may notice about this photo. It might be driving to Wichita. But that, as we have read earlier, is much more of a straight line. No, the drive to Kansas City is more varied. The skid marks here may well have been from the poor chap used to driving to Wichita. He may have tied his steering wheel down and set the alarm for too long, hence waking up to notice that he was careening off the road.

You may notice the lack of trees, or the lack of really just about anything. There is a sign just ahead telling you how ridiculously far the next hint of civilization is, where you might eventually find food or petrol, or perhaps letting you know that someone famous came from a town down around the draw and over the rise. Kansas is a place where folks are from for some reason. Eisenhower grew up in Abilene for instance. Kinda just sits there, doesn't it? Yeah. Profound.

Amelia Earhart and Buster Keaton were from there. Ron Evans and Steve Hawley were astronauts from there. Not very many people actually got famous IN Kansas. Except maybe for John Brown or the guy who murdered the Clutter family in cold blood. I was going to google it, but decided I don't give a shit who it was.

Kansas is a good place to drive because it reminds you that you are actually on a planet. In the winter it especially reminds me of the Ice Planet Hoth. Driving in the winter conjures thoughts like, "Holy Mother of God, what am I doing on THIS planet?", or "Depending where you're looking at the planet from space, I could very well be UPSIDE DOWN this very moment - how the fuck am I sticking to the road??" Well, not to worry. You are sticking to the road primarily due to the suction emanating from this part of the United States. Yes, you may hear 'this place sure sucks' quite a bit, but thank goodness it does, or you would float off into space for sure.

Driving while on hallucinogenic drugs isn't a good idea either in Kansas. (college days). It's entertaining to be sure, but hazardous when you think your quarter has timed out and you decide to get up from the video game and leave the store. This is bad because once you've started rolling in your car there is nothing to stop you - except the sign telling you who was from here.