WTF is that?

It was finally determined that the black, acrid plume of smoke emitting from the Nation’s capitol building today was coming from Senator John McCain’s ass. 

Still smarting from losing to Barack Obama in 2008 and his countless political gaffs (who can forget his choosing that cretin Sarah Palin?) since then, and now the hubbub about Benghazi, McCain has finally “let it all out” in a giant plume of hateful caustic black gas from his bowels.

McCain was seen tottering down the corridor to of the Capitol attic, leaking smoke out of his ass and muttering...”I hate that fucking Obama, I hate him I hate him I hate him….”

“My gosh, that fellow certainly has a lot of hatred built up in him.”  Said a senator who wished to remain blameless nameless.  “This is stinking up the beltway, and to stand out as a stink in the beltway it has to really, really stink.”

Originally folks thought the smoke might be coming from Grover Norquist’s office of Americans for Tax Reform over on 12^th street as he was burning democrat’s tax proposals and resumes from congressmen who had reneged on their pledge to His Majesty Norquist not to raise taxes. 

It is also rumored that McCain is in gastric distress about possibly being demoted from being co-chair of the Senate National Security Caucus.

It’s always something

See Y'all Later...

A letter to Texas.  Found this on FB.  Thought I would share.  Kinda blurry - click on the letter to enlarge it.

Wonder if they'll still have 'Austin City Limits'?  Maybe it will become the country of Mexas....

It's always something

A new America...

The state of Ohio has undergone revisions to its boundaries.  It has now taken on a facsimile to the outline of the United States.  This is because only those votes in Ohio will count and therefore it will essentially become “little America”.  Notice that the boundary revisions result in two coastlines, just like the original.

In the next election the only votes that will count will be from those living in Ohio.  The winner of the election will only need 11 electoral votes.  This was seen as prudent my most lawmakers and hailed by bipartisan pundits as a step in the right direction to unify America.  “Now you won’t have those stupid ass clowns in the south or the hippies on the left coast making important decisions for the nation’s leader,”  quoted one politician who chose to remain blameless nameless.  When asked about the possibility of a 10-10 tie, he answered, “Well, you know it’s been awhile since we’ve seen a good old-fashioned pistol duel, like Old Hamilton and that Aaron Burr fella.”

Other benefits to this sweeping change are many.  To name a couple, the candidates can save on fuel costs, only traveling across Ohio to campaign and US citizens can remain in bloodied fisticuff mode throughout the country but the only fighting that will have an effect will be the knock-down drag-out partisan fighting in Ohio. 

Some pundits predict that Ohio will see a surge of white folks moving there to take up residence so far as to establish residence.  They will of course, move out afterwards but this should bring a real boost to Ohio’s real estate economy.  It’s not known just how the Ohio hinterland will accommodate millions of new homes.  “Well, I expect that folks will build the cheapest ass structure they can if they’re just establishing an address.”  Says one Ohio senator.  “Hell, look at it this way; we may just see a whole bunch of white folks moving in and then renting to their families.  That way, the nation of voters who count can be mostly white again, which is the way it was a century ago.  We just don’t need all them people who are not like us having their say in our country’s politics.  You talk about ‘taking our country back’, now that’d be something.”

So, we’ll see how this all plays out in the next four years.   If Mitt Romney gets elected this will be the least of anyone’s worry or notice.  It’s unknown where all those children born out of rape will live though…maybe Ohio.

It’s always something… 

I finally just had to do something

At some point you just have to make a sign large enough to be read from the sidewalk and inclusive enough for most annoyances.  Now, If I could just put this on our phone.

It's always something...

Pretty good costume

I thought this was a pretty good costume.  

It's always something

A Lighter Moment on the Day

Got this off FB.  Thought it was worth sharing.  

                 I'm so looking forward to the end of the elections and a newly charged era of hatred ushered in with the new president, whomever it may be.  Haven't heard from Congress for too long now...really miss the obstruction and in-fighting.

                 Can't write more now, I'm off to look to buy a parachute at Army Surplus for the cliff jump in January.  I'll bet my 47% group won't find any.  God, I'm a victim!


It's always something

Mom's gun

Now that mom is in her 90’s she doesn’t get out as much as she once did.  This is especially true since she broke her hip last year.  She’s still in a wheelchair to get around. 

She still enjoys talking about her trips out hunting with her VHS-K compact assault rifle that she got back in 2009 after the elections, convinced that the Democrats were going to take guns away from Kansans.  She got the weapon at the local Walmart on a special post-election sale in a tent in the parking lot.  She got pretty good at it until she broke her hip

So last summer on my visit she talked me into getting her out to “do some shootin’”.  I rigged up a gun rest on the left arm of her wheelchair.  We went out and found a gentle sloped dirt road.  I would give her a start and she would roll down the road, blasting at any critter that moved.  She couldn’t lift the weapon over to the right so varmints on that side were safe.  Well, truth be told, they ALL were pretty safe, except for being scared crapless at the firepower of 750 rounds per minute coming at them from a wheelchair barreling down the road.  Awesome firepower.

She didn’t get any varmints but managed to saw off a few road signs and fence posts.

She keeps it by her chair in the living room, in case any of “them Obamanites” show up unannounced.

It’s always something