A new America...

The state of Ohio has undergone revisions to its boundaries.  It has now taken on a facsimile to the outline of the United States.  This is because only those votes in Ohio will count and therefore it will essentially become “little America”.  Notice that the boundary revisions result in two coastlines, just like the original.

In the next election the only votes that will count will be from those living in Ohio.  The winner of the election will only need 11 electoral votes.  This was seen as prudent my most lawmakers and hailed by bipartisan pundits as a step in the right direction to unify America.  “Now you won’t have those stupid ass clowns in the south or the hippies on the left coast making important decisions for the nation’s leader,”  quoted one politician who chose to remain blameless nameless.  When asked about the possibility of a 10-10 tie, he answered, “Well, you know it’s been awhile since we’ve seen a good old-fashioned pistol duel, like Old Hamilton and that Aaron Burr fella.”

Other benefits to this sweeping change are many.  To name a couple, the candidates can save on fuel costs, only traveling across Ohio to campaign and US citizens can remain in bloodied fisticuff mode throughout the country but the only fighting that will have an effect will be the knock-down drag-out partisan fighting in Ohio. 

Some pundits predict that Ohio will see a surge of white folks moving there to take up residence so far as to establish residence.  They will of course, move out afterwards but this should bring a real boost to Ohio’s real estate economy.  It’s not known just how the Ohio hinterland will accommodate millions of new homes.  “Well, I expect that folks will build the cheapest ass structure they can if they’re just establishing an address.”  Says one Ohio senator.  “Hell, look at it this way; we may just see a whole bunch of white folks moving in and then renting to their families.  That way, the nation of voters who count can be mostly white again, which is the way it was a century ago.  We just don’t need all them people who are not like us having their say in our country’s politics.  You talk about ‘taking our country back’, now that’d be something.”

So, we’ll see how this all plays out in the next four years.   If Mitt Romney gets elected this will be the least of anyone’s worry or notice.  It’s unknown where all those children born out of rape will live though…maybe Ohio.

It’s always something…