Secretary of Offense

Washington, D.C. -  Senator John McCain has stepped up to the position of the newly created Secretary of Offense, for the United States.

After the hearings on whether or not to confirm Chuck Hagel to replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of Defense, the Guns Over People (GOP) Party had an epiphany.  This became a moment of clarity, just a few days away from the Super bowl, the nation’s most important event of each year. 

“My god, we’ve been missing it all along.”  One Republican House Representative who asked to remain blameless nameless said.  “To remain great we need to learn the simple concept from football – and that is, you must have a defense AND an strong offense.”

And who best qualified to be this new Secretary of Offense than Senator John McCain.  True enough, America has the most guns, the most ammunition, the most bellicose public attitude to violence, the most nukes…we can follow John McCain into the rising sun of total world domination, starting war after war.  Iraq was just a taste.  We could have a balanced game of Defense AND Offense…finally

As Randy Newman said, 

“They all hate us anyhow

So let's drop the big one now

Let's drop the big one now”