This describes what I am feeling this morning as I come to the office on a Friday. We're out of work, or nearly so. The train has left the station. Whatever it was that I had planned to do has passed on. I've been a traveler on this life's journey as an architect, running to catch the next train - sometimes not the train I wanted, but a train that took me to the next town, the next pay station and the map that shows "you are here" on a map in the lobby.
The lobby is empty. Everyone made the train but me this time. There is a cold damp wind out here on the platform as I peer down the track and study it as it disappears into a point. This is one-point perspective you see, and I understand that and know how to draw it and even teach it. It's what I've done for 30 years. But this morning it only reveals a distance into which I won't go today. I've missed the train.
I sit inside the station where it's warm. Even the ticket windows are closed. I look at the light reflected in the windows. It's dark outside and the play of light inside and out, the distorted and reflected colors and shapes are intriguing. The floor is at least 100 years old and has a marvelous patina to it. The shadows play in and out on the stacked equipment in the corner. I think about my work, all the buildings completed - some not so great, some quite satisfying. I take out my sketch pad and pencil and start drawing, thinking about a composition of shapes I see in charcoal or maybe oil. Maybe both.
I look down the track again but this time it's not with a lament of things missed. It's looking for a train to come my way, one on which I will ride to a new destination of adventure, art and expression of who I really am.
Of Fires and Feelings
1 year ago