We have a new bookkeeper here at Lewis. He is turning our far, far better than Mrs. Alzheimer, who on a good day spent all of her miracles just finding the office. Don't even get me started on the rest.

This li'l fella might look unassuming, flighty even, but he can hunt and peck 35 words a minute! The area around the front desk gets a bit messy what with the dried banana chips and sunflower seeds by mid afternoon, but 'Indie' is sure working out well for us.

He's a whiz at filing, although you have to open the drawer for him. Flaps his wings and the files flutter open, paper takes flight and settles into various folders, all in just a few seconds really. It used to take Mrs. Alzheimer absolutely fucking days to file stuff. And EVERY GODDAM FILE WAS WRONG. Indie here gets some of them correct just by natural laws of random order, so we are quite better off. The phone needs a little development but he's coming along. It just takes patience. At least Indie's awake and trying. Mrs. Alzheimer often stared at the ringing phone as if it was some interplanetary device from "Men in Black" that an alien had placed on her desk.

Indie's conversations go something like this:

Indie - "Aaawk, hello?"

Caller - "Hello, is John there?"

Indie - "Aaawk, hello?"

Caller - "Hello, is John there?"

Indie - "Aaawk, hello?"

Caller - "Yes, yes, hello, is John there?"

Indie - "Aaawk, hello?"

Caller - "IS - John - there?"

Indie - "Aaawk John"

Caller - "Yes, John. Is he in?"

Indie - "Aaawk John"

Caller - "Yes, John. Is he in?"

Indie - "Aaawk John"

Caller - "You're repeating everything I'm saying."

Indie - "Aaawk repeating"

Caller - "Geezus!!"

Indie - "Aaawk geezus"

Caller - ""

Indie - (now agitated, going back and forth on the paper punch perch) "Aaawk, fuck the IRS...fuck the IRS"

Granted we have some working to do with Indie to get his phone manners working a bit better. For now though we just try to get the phone before he can peck the button. Even this - EVEN THIS is better than Mrs Alzheimer. AND, Indie doesn't come in ever fucking ten minutes and ask us if we want to hear something funny.

Not only that, but no one can argue that THIS architectural firm hasn't gone green.