Some won't get 'em

I've been fighting the urge on this.  On one hand, I don't care yet on the other hand I really don't care.  However, a good friend of mine who DOES care about all this shit, and who I respect, cued me into a pretty good explanation from the NFL:

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000066164/article/nfl-supports-decision-to-not-overturn-seahawks-touchdown?fb_comment_id=fbc_452741481436219_5232571_452765698100464#f2e25bd4c4

(good lord, what a browser link!)

So, I came down to the basement to yell a minute.

My thoughts on this are such that if the tables were turned, this would not be the issue it is.  Green Bay is SUPPOSED to always win, and Seattle is SUPPOSED to always lose.  That's why the dust-up.  This game was perceived to be stolen from the entitled, no matter of rule or reality.

I don't claim to be a football fan.  I'm just not manly enough and though I'v really worked on it, I just can't manage to fart really loud.  I'm just a dork, down in his basement yelling.

Now, I can't imagine the Seahawks will get much help from a win here.  Even if they won every game from here on out and the next 5 super bowels...oops, bowls, they would have no national respect.  That's the way it is.  

It's always something...

Humpty Dumpty

Hats off to Stephen Pastis.


It's always something

Zany Wit - 3+ weeks in Kansas

I am in Salina Kansas.  I’ll be here until mid September and I am getting to catch up on all the values and things I’ve lost or forgotten since moving away from here 40 some odd years ago.

One of the really basic precepts in living here is that if one wants to do an activity away from the house (or sometimes perhaps in the house) if one wants to do something, one has to ‘get ready’.  This can mean anything from changing to more appropriate clothes to getting some money to carry.  As is commonly known here, credit cards are fine but you never know when there will be a credit melt down or some such crisis requiring you to have money.  Changing clothes never used to be a problem back when everyone dressed like Ward and June Cleaver, but nowadays its different. 

Another thing about getting ready is making sure the car has enough gas, has a recent oil change, has enough air in the tires and knowing who is going with you on your activity and are THEY ready. 

As I sit in the guest bedroom at the back of my mom’s house listening to Fox News and the start of the Republican convention on volume level 45 across the house in the living room, I’m reminded of all the new knowledge that awaits my edification.  Gosh, you know, I’m actually looking forward to 25 more days of nothing but Fox News.  I’ve already heard quit a lot of their programming and have to say what a joy it is to listen to such a marvelous blend of downright zany wit, and unbridled caustic hatred towards all those not like us.  And we know who we are, don’t we?

Yes we do.  And we’re in Kansas.

More to come….

Squashed Like a Bug

Yeah, squashed like a bug over at Redmond District Court. 

You see, when I went in to file my protest I asked – specifically -  asked the clerk, “…hey, this is after the 10 day filing deadline.  Will I be ok with this?” 

“Sure, the judge is pretty understanding.”

And by golly the judge was pretty understanding.  He explained to me that he understood he had no say in the city 10-day rule or waiver of such.  The city legal counsel got up and summarily dismissed me like I was an insignificant piece of pet waste that had somehow tracked into the courtroom on someone’s shoe.  I asked for some understanding but, (and I’m sure I’m right) they really had no case so the counsel dismissed me with smug aplomb and great personal satisfaction using the 10-day rule.

I asked the judge if I could at least have a public say.  He said, “No, you may not.”  And that was that.  So I left the courtroom feeling a little like a US citizen in the 21^st century. 

I went over to City Hall.  Went up to Traffic engineering to at least tell them their sign was misleading (we’ve been through that).  They were all out.  I was invited to “wait around”, but the steam was beginning to emit from my ears again and I just left.  So I went home and sent the engineer an email with the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one stating what the crime was and how I was so sorry for following the sign.

So, lesson learned.  I made two fatal mistakes.  One was obeying a sign.  The other was believing a law clerk.  Let this be a lesson.  And, if you believe a politician, well, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you.

It’s always something

Non - Moving Violation - Part III

So I finally went down to the District Court building today to submit my "Impounded Vehicle Hearing Request" form complete with my name, address, license number, VIN number, make and model and 50 other line items WITH the box checked that said "To contest the validity of the impound".

I've already put $250 bucks down the hole to get my car back.  Now, to contest it - that is to say, attest to the fact that my car was parked WEST of a sign that said "No Parking EAST of HERE", when it should have really said, "No parking East of OVER THERE", since my car was over there, west of here; to contest it I needed to put ANOTHER $83 BUCKS down the slot to gamble a victory.

Add to this, the fact that you only have 10 days to send in the form.  It's been 30 days, because I had waited for a traffic ticket that never showed up in the mail.  So they may throw it out.  So the $85 might rattle down into the change box switching on "game over".  We'll see.

Non-Moving Violation, Part II

Here is a photo of the "offending car", parked west of the sign that says "No Parking EAST of here".  This photo was taken looking west.  So, east of "here" is behind where I took this, standing just east of the sign saying 'no parking east of here', or right up there, where the sign is, indicating where "here" is.

Ok, so the city police department finally got back to me and said I have to fill out a Form requesting a hearing to plead my case; Getting my $240 back from being towed.  I'll get this form tomorrow and take it to the courthouse.

It's always something.....

Non-moving Violation - Part I

I would like to think that I am a good citizen.  A follower of rules.  

Rules are for following.  

Without rules, and those who dutifully follow them we 

would live in chaos, no?

When driving on the freeway I keep to the right, except to pass, 

of course if in such passing 

I do not exceed the speed limit.  Although, driving a Prius does 

make it more of a challenge

to follow the ‘minimum’ speed limit, usually 45.

I signal to turn and to change lanes.  

Well, NOW especially to change lanes since 

I was pulled over one Sunday morning in Kirkland for 

NOT SIGNALLING TO CHANGE LANES.  

Guilty as charged.  Yep.  I did it, or didn’t do it, as the 

Kirkland Gestapo so righteously informed me.  I was the 

only car on the planet that morning 

(except for the Kirkland Gestapo squad car)

 and just, willy-nilly, out of my mind in my road borne 

solitude just CHANGED LANES without signaling 

(similar to if a tree falls in a deserted forest does it make a noise?).  

Damn!  Did it!  With wonton disregard to my fellow citizens.  

The Gestapo let me off with a warning, but I do have to wear 

a little yellow patch on my coat showing the outline of a car not signaling.  

So today I took the bus to the baseball game.  A good citizen.  

I used public transit, kept one more car off the freeway and furthered 

the cause of bus ridership.  The Redmond park and ride was full with 

cars of people who had jobs so I had to park on the street.  I parked 

on the street and dutifully followed what the sign said.  

The sign said NO PARKING EAST OF HERE.  

East of HERE.  

I parked WEST of here.

I parked and got out and stood at the sign and wondered 

where was east of HERE?  

I decided that HERE was meant to be where the sign was.  

Like where it was, was somehow, HERE, or where I was standing.  

And my car was WEST of HERE, not EAST.  

Confident I had complied vith ze rhules, 

I boarded the bus and went to the game.

I got back and The REDMOND Gestapo this time had impounded my Prius.  

Towed the sucker away.  

Went to the police station.  

Had to use the “red phone’ in the lobby since the window was closed.  

Yep.  I had somehow violated the rules and been towed.

So, there I was this morning, paying a ransom to the greedy 

evil toad crouched behind the desk at the towing company in Totem Lake.  

His assistant led me back to where they had stashed my car, 

dragging his knuckles down the greasy corridor.  

He didn’t smile.  Nor did I.  

He DID wish me a better day as I drove out of gasoline alley and 

with all my might I resisted telling him I wished that a swarm of 

wasps make a nest up his nose 

and sting the sonofabitch until he crapped acid.

I expect I will get a ticket from the Redmond Gestapo any day now.  

I have decided to contest this.  If I don’t succeed I plan to GET JESSE!!

Stay tuned for 27 - 8 x 10 color glossy pictures with 

circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one…….

It’s ALWAYS something….